Here We Are
by handa
Summary: Hitsugaya and Ichigo need to get back to their side of the battlefield. Hitsugaya feels the affects of war. Ichigo tries to help. gradual IchiHitsu
1. Two Strays

**A/N:** My first Fanfic written for my friend's birthday. She's a fan of IchiHitsu and kind of got me into it. This is going to be a gradual IchiHitsu though and there will be chapters. Happy Birthday, Gina. With my slow skills this should be completed next year and you can count it as a two-year gift. XD

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tite Kubo's Bleach or the characters. But I do own a more useful one that helps me clean out stains. As for the characters, nope.

* * *

The desert floor was littered with bodies. But, needless to say, there were more shinigami corpses than there were arrancar. It was a damned mistake, choosing the enemies' home as their battlefield.

Hitsugaya Toushirou picked his way through the mass grave, his hair a mess and his shoulders sagging as if they held a great weight. And he was covered in blood. His white captain's haori seemed completely dark red, as layers and even more layers coated it. It was now a burden for the young taichou to wear, instead of the symbol of authority and pride it had given him. But he still wore it, grimacing every now and then when his eyes would accidentally make their way down to stare at the stained clothing.

The white desert was endless and no matter how far he walked the distance didn't seem to close. Hitsugaya had his eyes fixed up on a bare tree, its quartz-like structure and white color, like everything else in the desert, his main focus. He would have to rest there, feeling the searing pain in his right arm grow sharper. Because his attention was so drawn to his goal he did not notice the stray body that sprawled out to the side and he felt his foot become caught on something, perhaps the stretched out leg. The next thing he knew he landed on his injured arm, cursing at the pain of the impact and cursing again at his clumsiness. Sitting up Hitsugaya gripped at the desert sand, his eyes shut and his teeth clenched as he waited for the fresh waves of pain to leave. As it did he reopened his eyes and stared at the lifeless body he had tripped on. The shinigami wasn't recognizable but those terror filled eyes were still open and staring, unseeingly, up at the night sky. Hitsugaya would've felt grief and pity, but there was nothing. He had stumbled on to too many bodies previously and was growing used to the sight.

Reaching out he gently placed his hand over the open eyes of the dead shinigami and closed them. "Thank you." Hitsugaya murmured, his head bowing once to acknowledge the service that the shinigami had done for their part in the battle. Though the body was far away from the rest of the corpses, Hitsugaya did not bother thinking about it too deeply. The man might have run away from his duties, and later killed, but could Hitsugaya really blame him? It had been terrible, something he was being burdened with. He had been the commanding officer, and yet… failed. The white haired taichou kneeled there, forcing the battle to leave his head as he had willed it to leave a thousand times over every time he had murmured his gratitude to his fallen subordinates.

Hitsugaya stood, his back turned to the dead shinigami and he continued making his way towards that damned tree.

He wasn't very far from it when he realized that the place was already occupied. Orange hair was visible from the other side of the quartz tree, along with the sleeve of a shihakushou, and a large zanpakutou, its point buried in the sand as it stuck straight out. It could only be one person and the uncontrolled reiatsu confirmed it.

Hitsugaya silently moved forward. The tree blocked his view since they were on opposite sides of the plant, but he was able to see splashes of blood on the sand. "Kurosaki?" He was suddenly aware of how tired his voice sounded. Rounding the tree he was shocked to see the condition the substitute shinigami was in. One side of his face was entirely covered in blood and there were slashes and rips everywhere. The black shihakushou hid the rest of the wounds from Hitsugaya's sight.

"Toushirou? Damn!" Ichigo's eyes had widened in disbelief and Hitsugaya realized that he probably looked no better. Ichigo struggled to raise himself, those brown and startled eyes never leaving Hitsugaya's blood stained clothes. But before he could get very far, a small hand pressed him down firmly and Ichigo slid back to the soft sand.

"Calm down. It's… not my own." Hitsugaya explained, his usual frown deepening. He was referring to the blood he was currently soaked in. A hesitant nod from Ichigo accompanied his words and, once again, he leaned back on to the tree. Hitsugaya removed Hyourinmaru, slipping the sash off his shoulder and placing his faithful zanpakutou down beside him. He sat down as well; his aching legs and injured arm needed this rest. There was an uncomfortable silence that was begging to be broken as they sat there, eyes purposely diverted away from each other. Ichigo had even begun doodling shapes in the sand, or were they actually pictures? Hitsugaya cleared his voice and made himself look back at Ichigo. They couldn't stay here forever, it was enemy territory.

"What are your injuries?" Hitsugaya let his eyes travel over Ichigo's body, taking note of the wounds that he was able to see and especially the ones that continued to bleed. It looked as if Ichigo had lost lots of blood and the human was definitely showing signs of weakness because of it.

Ichigo gazed back at Hitsugaya, his eyebrows scrunching up. "What are yours?" He retorted, ceasing his doodles and crossing his arms over his chest. Hitsugaya made another mental note that something was wrong with Ichigo's left shoulder, noticing the small flinch and adjustment the orange haired human had made when moving his arms. A brief pause. Then Hitsugaya shot him an agitated glare. Now was not the time to be difficult. Ichigo read this clearly and opened his mouth to argue but stopped. "Fine." He muttered, glaring with just as much agitation. "My left shoulder's messed up, I have a cut on the side of my neck that stings like hell, I'm pretty sure I have a cut somewhere on my face too 'cause I'm bleeding there, and…" Ichigo uncrossed his arms and pulled at the neck of his haori, causing it to open and reveal a large, but not very deep, cut on his chest that ran down diagonally and still bled. "… this." He didn't mention his smaller cuts but then again, they had stopped bleeding a while ago.

It was amazing that Ichigo was still conscious and able to move and talk after all that. But then again, the human boy was full of surprises.

Hitsugaya growled something under his breath, regretting not taking medical supplies from the bodies of the 4th squad shinigami he had been leading. At the time Hitsugaya's own wounds had been treated and he didn't think he would end up seeing another being so far out into the desert. After all, his own team had been a search and rescue group sent out after the first battle, so when they had been ambushed… He pressed his fingertips to his temples and once more blocked out the memories.

"… Toushirou?" Ichigo's worried tone brought him back to attention.

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou!" The smaller boy snapped in annoyance and reflex. Why couldn't that idiot remember a simple thing like addressing someone by their proper title? He wanted to fume in silence but knew that would get them no where. Where were they again? Ah, yes, the injuries. Hitsugaya had his healing kidou but he would also need a bandage or cloth of some sort to make sure the wounds Ichigo had wouldn't reopen. And suddenly, the answer became all too clear. Without hesitating he slipped out of his bloody captain's haori and began ripping it apart into long strips. His eyes narrowed as he did so and his jaws tightened, it wasn't a very pleasant thing to do, ripping up something that he had worked so hard to accomplish.

"H-Hey! Stop that!" Ichigo's surprised voice rang out and a calloused hand was all of a sudden grabbing Hitsugaya's own. They both paused, staring at each other.

"Remove your hand, Kurosaki. I know what I'm doing." The icy tone had no effect on the substitute shinigami.

"Yeah right!" Ichigo scoffed, his grip on Hitsugaya didn't loosen. "That's what all you taichous wear! Doesn't it mean anything to you?" After a moment, an amused look came over Hitsugaya's face but he stopped it from coming any further. So Ichigo was one of those people that thought items had symbolic meanings? It wasn't that Hitsugaya didn't think so himself, it was just… he wouldn't have expected it out of a person like Ichigo.

Hitsugaya pulled away from Ichigo's grasp, his hands ripped another strip of cloth before he looked Ichigo square in the eyes. "It can be replaced." _Unlike you._ Hitsugaya kept the last part to himself, not really knowing what had made him think such a thing and concluding that it was just because Ichigo was a valuable ally. Satisfied that he wouldn't interrupt anymore, Hitsugaya continued ripping apart the haori, trying to think of something else while he did so. But every sound of stitching coming undone would only cause him to ask what he was doing. And then, he came up on the 10th squad number. It was, like almost every other part of the haori, covered in dry blood, but if he squinted he could make out the number and its diamond design that encased it. Hitsugaya hesitated, his hands holding on to the cloth. He took a look at the design, and then at Ichigo. And to his surprise Ichigo was looking right back at him. Had he been this entire time?

"I'm sure this is enough." Ichigo motioned to the strips of clothing, a small grin was offered at the small taichou. _He knows._ Hitsugaya thought. His heart was thumping in his chest. How easy it would be… to just stop shredding his captain's haori. Hitsugaya went back to staring at the 10th squad number and after a moment's pause he ripped it right down the middle. He had started something; there was no reason to stop.

"One more wouldn't hurt." Hitsugaya muttered, tossing that strip into the pile and avoiding those worried eyes of Ichigo's. He folded up the torn captain's haori and felt somewhat… free. Maybe it was because he was no longer wearing something so hideously bloody or maybe it was because he no longer felt tied down to the responsibilities of a captain. How a single destruction of a captain's haori did that, Hitsugaya had no idea. But he… liked the feeling.

* * *

Selecting the cleanest pieces was difficult and Ichigo wasn't much help, seeing as he always picked the dirtiest strips.

"This one?" Ichigo asked. His voice was a bit hopeful after having his selections continually denied.

"No."

"You didn't even look at it!"

A sigh and a quick glance from the pile to the bloody strip Ichigo held up. "Kurosaki, are you blind? That's the worst one out of them all!" Came the exasperated reply from one very irritated taichou.

"Hey! You said the same thing about the other ones I picked so there has to be some difference." Ichigo growled, wanting to prove to the smaller boy that he really wasn't an 'incompetent moron' as Hitsugaya had put it.

"Then you must be choosing the same one over and over again."

"No way!" A pause. "Do you… do you really think so?"

Hitsugaya looked up to see a serious and slightly horrified look on Ichigo's face. "I mean. What are the odds of me picking out the exact same one? Right?" Ichigo was squinting at the cloth now, but keeping it away at an arm's distance. As if it was going to jump him and strangle him to death.

Hitsugaya had to turn away, the corners of lips turning up ever so slightly, yet he fought to keep his smile down. The sight was so ridiculous and as he rolled his eyes at Ichigo's constant stream of words Hitsugaya couldn't help but feel his horrible encounters that day slowly smooth out. The ambush, the pain on his right arm that had returned not long ago, and the responsibility of loosing his group were all being pushed back and away, into some far place inside himself.

"Are you even listening to me, Toushirou?!"

"Damn it, Kurosaki. It's Hitsugaya-taichou!"

Getting back safely was going to be one hell of a job with Ichigo around.

* * *

**A/N:** Whoo. Next chapter Ichigo will be treated and maybe (if I feel like it?) it will be explained as to how Ichigo is alone and more information on Hitsugaya's ambush. Reviews are much appreciated as are critiques since I'm new at this.


	2. They, Them, Who?

**A/N:** Ohhh, this one was difficult since I used up my muse during finals today. Anyway, second chapter. Came out a lot faster than it was supposed to since Gina bribed me. Thanks to all the people who took the time to review! The third chapter might take a lot slower since I'm looking forward to this 3-day weekend.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tite Kubo's Bleach. In fact, the only Bleach thing I own/bought is Vol. 20 of the manga. But not for long! I ordered the DiamondDust Rebellion movie guide thing.

* * *

It was dark, hell; it was always dark in Hueco Mundo. Ichigo shifted his already treated shoulder and tried to get himself in a more comfortable position. "Kurosaki." The tone of voice was a warning from the small taichou that sat in front of him. His hands, which glowed a warm and soothing light, hovered over Ichigo's bare chest. Gods, every single time he moved Hitsugaya would scold him.

"I know, I know. But I can't help it. I think both my legs are asleep." Ichigo grinned a lopsided grin even though, inside, he felt like telling Hitsugaya off. But he restrained himself, knowing that he owed the white haired brat for helping him. So Ichigo sat there and watched with interest as his chest wound slowly stopped bleeding thanks to Hitsugaya's healing kidou. Then he watched the light from the kidou dim and then slowly disappear.

An exhausted looking Hitsugaya dropped his hands and let out a deep sigh. "We'll have to get that wrapped up."

Ichigo watched as Hitsugaya held a long strip of used-to-be-a-haori and saw the hesitation written all over the taichou's face. "What?" Ichigo looked from side to side, unable to see what was bothering Hitsugaya. Until, that is, Ichigo followed that gaze of his. It ended right on his chest. Oh. So the great 10th Squad taichou was a little touch shy was he? Ichigo couldn't help but snicker.

Hearing him snicker Hitsugaya realized that Ichigo had found out. He hastily handed the strip of cloth to the orange haired human. "Here. Make sure it's tight enough to hold still. But not too tight." Instructed Hitsugaya, his head was turned away slightly, as if embarrassed. Ichigo sat there with a satisfied smirk on his face. No way in hell was he going to pass this golden opportunity up.

"Sorry, but I was never good at these kinds of things. Besides," Ichigo patted his left shoulder and pretended to wince in pain. "I can't really move this arm much." Ichigo tossed the cloth back at Hitsugaya, trying to make himself look as innocent as possible. But it was hard since that devilish smirk of his just wouldn't go away.

Hitsugaya gaped and made no move to catch the strip of cloth that landed on his lap. "Kurosaki-!" But he was cut off when Ichigo leaned forward, his eyes mischievous and that smirk still plastered on his face.

"What're you so afraid of, _Toushirou_?" Ichigo asked, his voice playfully taunting. Something inside Hitsugaya snapped then, the words were strangely familiar.

Why that arrogant, cocky son of a…! Without a word of warning Hitsugaya had his upper arm against Ichigo's throat, pinning him back on the tree. The small taichou was on his feet now, and a furious look had overcome his face as he glared down at the seated human. "You ungrateful bastard!" Hitsugaya snarled, his teeth clenching.

Ichigo's eyes widened before he grabbed a hold of the arm that held him back and pushed it away from his throat. "What the hell?!" He shouted. His brown eyes were angrily shocked but there was something else there that he was unable to mask, and that was his concern. Ichigo tried to stand but he had been right, his legs were asleep.

Hitsugaya stood there, his eyes no longer fixed on Ichigo, but instead on the quartz tree. Had he… just attacked the human boy? Trembling a bit, Hitsugaya took a couple of steps back, away from Ichigo. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I…" He inhaled and shook his head, dropping back down to the sand, his hands grasping the strip of haori. "… Lift your arms a bit." There was no reaction from Ichigo and Hitsugaya glanced up.

Ichigo looked back at Hitsugaya, his face full of questions as to why the usually calm taichou had just lost it a few seconds ago. But instead of asking, Ichigo tried to ease the tension by smiling a little. "Nah, I'll do it. Take a break; you look like you need one." His voice was casual and joking but worried as well. Ichigo reached out for the cloth that Hitsugaya held and he grabbed it. He tugged, thinking that Hitsugaya would let go of it. But the taichou's hand still held onto it firmly.

"Kurosaki, I didn't mean to-" Hitsugaya was cut off once more when Ichigo let out a loud sigh.

"It's alright. I'm sorry too." Ichigo tugged at the cloth again, but Hitsugaya pulled back. "Let go, I said I'll do it." He chuckled.

"No, I should. Your shoulder is injured." Hitsugaya replied stubbornly. This time they were completely pulling at the strip.

"Seriously, Toushirou. I can handle this. I was kidding about, you know. Before." Ichigo strained at the material, but damn, that kid had a death grip.

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou to you." Hitsugaya muttered, still clinging onto the fabric.

"Prove it."

"What?"

"Prove that you're a 'taichou'." Ichigo answered, his voice smug. "You don't seem like a taichou to me. How do I know you're not lying?"

"What are you saying…?" Hitsugaya's voice trailed off as he remembered he wasn't wearing his captain's haori anymore. So the human wanted to make a joke out of it, did he? "Kurosaki."

"Yes?" Ichigo's voice piped up, his large grin clearly showing that he enjoyed every minute of Hitsugaya teasing.

"You're an idiot." And with a final jerk, Hitsugaya had the strip of cloth in his hand. A raise of his eyebrow was the only sign of his triumph.

"You caught me off-guard!" Ichigo protested.

"Then you should be more alert next time." Hitsugaya muttered, rolling his eyes at the obvious fact. The incident with Hitsugaya's sudden action was forgotten. For the next couple of minutes Hitsugaya wrapped up Ichigo's chest wound, his eyes looking off to the side and his hands trying to finish up as fast as he could. Ichigo, who still loved teasing the small taichou, didn't spare a moment when Hitsugaya's fingers would accidentally brush against his chest and he would comment on how cold they felt or how quick he was to pull away. And Hitsugaya, now regretting he had won their tug-o'-war, would mutter a simple 'shut up' or growl in annoyance, his cheeks slightly flushed red.

It wasn't long before Hitsugaya finally managed to finish. He stretched his arms out and flinched when he felt pain shoot through his right arm. Hitsugaya had checked it numerous times before, and it looked fine. He concluded that there was some damage to the inside. Ichigo had been too busy adjusting his haori to notice Hitsugaya's flinch.

"Thanks, Toushirou. You're a life saver." Ichigo grinned at the white haired taichou before promptly laying down on his back. His mouth opened wide in a yawn and he closed his eyes. "Hmm. The sand feels good." Ichigo murmured softly, his lips turning up into a peaceful smile.

Hitsugaya looked at Ichigo through half-closed eyes. Seeing Ichigo yawn caused him to suddenly felt very tired and sleep didn't seem like a bad idea. It had been a long day and he had used up a lot of his reiatsu. "You're welcome." He wasn't going to bother anymore with the name calling. Ichigo was just too damn stubborn and Hitsugaya didn't want to waste his time on a worthless cause. Hitsugaya followed Ichigo's example and lay down as well, turning so that he lay on his left side since his right arm was acting up again. His back faced Ichigo and for a minute, there was silence.

"Well, 'night, Toushirou."

"Idiot, it's always night here." But Hitsugaya's words went unheard and soon he could hear the soft snores of the substitute shinigami. Sighing, Hitsugaya dragged what remained of his haori to him and he stared at it. The half ripped 10th Squad number looked threatening, with its torn design and bloodstains. It was an unpleasant sight and Hitsugaya pushed it away, his mind clouding once more with the battle he had gone through. Though… it had been more of a massacre than a battle.

There was a quiet sigh from behind Hitsugaya, interrupting his thoughts. And as Hitsugaya began drifting off to sleep he wondered how everyone else was doing.

* * *

Ichigo awoke with a start and quickly sat up, unsure of what had awoken him. His teeth were chattering. Come to think of it… the temperature had dropped all of a sudden and it was absolutely freezing. Ichigo crossed his arms and shivered, it was then that he noticed that he was covered in a thin layer of frost. "The hell?" He muttered, and his eyes widened a great deal when he was able to see his own breath.

He stood and moved towards Hitsugaya, wanting to wake him up and show him this strange weather change when he realized, as he got closer, that Hitsugaya's cool reiatsu was leaking around everywhere. Hitsugaya was even breaking out in a cold sweat. "Hey! Toushirou, wake up!" Ichigo shook the young taichou's arm. He was startled. Was it normal for a taichou to loose control of his reiatsu while sleeping?

There was a hiss of pain and Ichigo's hand was smacked away. "Kurosaki, that's my bad arm, you moron! What are you doing?" Hitsugaya's voice sounded strained and had a touch of panic in it. Ichigo raised his eyebrows suspiciously, had Hitsugaya been dreaming?

"I should be asking you that! It's freezing!" Ichigo snapped as he began brushing the frost off the sleeves of his haori, and glared at the now sitting up Hitsugaya. Ichigo stopped what he was doing and stared at the white haired boy. For some reason, Hitsugaya's eyes had become very wide, as if the cold temperature were holding a katana to his throat.

"What is it?" Ichigo asked, and he heard Hitsugaya suddenly inhale quickly.

Hitsugaya shook his head and stood up, he had recovered quickly. His small hands brushed off the frost from his own haori. "Nothing." Was the muttered answer. But Ichigo was aware of the smaller boy's shaking hands. He grew annoyed, knowing that Hitsugaya was hiding something.

"Tell me! This…" Ichigo waved his hand frantically over their frost covered shihakushous. "… Can't be normal." Ichigo saw his breath again and pointed to that as well. "What's going on, Toushirou?" His voice was completely serious this time. Ichigo was dead set on finding out what had caused such a break out of reiatsu.

"I told you, it's nothing." Hitsugaya's voice had an edge of uncertainty to it. The last time he had lost control of his reiatsu was… well, it had been a long time ago, before he had been a taichou. This was a shock to him. He felt stiff and unsure of what to do next. Hitsugaya struggled to control his reiatsu and keep his mind calm at the same time. But it was difficult.

Ichigo was not buying it. "Quit messing around! It's pretty obvious there's something wrong with you! First you nearly break my neck, and now you're freezing us both!" Ichigo grabbed Hitsugaya's shoulders, causing him to look up in surprise. "Just tell me, please! Maybe I can help." Ichigo voice sounded pleading now. Both pairs of eyes stared at each other; Ichigo tightened his grip, waiting for Hitsugaya's reply.

"No, you can't." The bitter voice was like a harsh slap to Ichigo's face. Instead of recoiling Ichigo stayed where he was. Hitsugaya's eyes looked away while Ichigo's own continued glaring down at the smaller boy.

"How do you know that?" Ichigo growled, his impatience getting the better of him. "If you tell me then-"

"Shut up!" Hitsugaya shoved Ichigo's hands of his shoulders and stepped back, his aquamarine eyes sparking with anger and raw grief. "You can't help me! Just like I couldn't help them! So shut up, Kurosaki!" Hitsugaya was shaking now, his fists clenched and his nails digging into the palm of his hands. Yet his eyes stayed focused on Ichigo, as if daring him to say anything more.

"Them? Who are they?" Ichigo's voice was puzzled, and he ignored Hitsugaya's actions and those dangerous eyes.

There was a low snarl from Hitsugaya, and for a moment Ichigo took up a defensive stance. A silence arrived and seconds ticked past. Ichigo still stood there, his glaring eyes still on Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya's glaring eyes were on him as well, but they were softening a bit. Ichigo decided to try again. "Toushirou, who are 'they'?" He repeated slowly. His voice was quiet and Ichigo prayed that he would be answered. Another moment of silence. And then Hitsugaya's bitter voice was heard.

"The group of shinigami who were being led by me." A deep, calm breath. "The group of shinigami who died because of me."

* * *

**A/N:** I was GOING to continue. I swear I was. But then my fingers started hurting.


	3. A Cheater

**A/N:** Oh wow. It's official. I love all my reviewers. I finished this at 1 a.m. last night while sick. Just because all of you make me so happy. Thanks goes to all the people who faved, alerted, and read. But special thanks goes to all my reviewers. You make me wanna update as soon as possible. XD And to my anonymous reviewer, I have no clue how many chapters this will be. Hopefully not too many and not too much. School is coming back this week so when I have the free time I'll update. This chapter has a flashback! I hope you can tell. Also, does anyone notice anything wrong with my writing at all? English is my second language so I'd like to know.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Tite Kubo's Bleach. If I did then I would have drawn Ulquiorra MUCH bigger on the poll results page last week. He was too tiny. And yaay for Hitsugaya and Ichigo. I always wondered who would really top. Aha, Hitsugaya on top of Ichigo with... Rukia in the middle?!

* * *

Hitsugaya's eyes searched Ichigo's face, desperate to see what kind of reaction would appear… what kind of judgment would pass over his mind. But there was nothing but a waiting look on the human's face. In fact, there was no surprise at all. What kind of person was this Kurosaki Ichigo, to be able to stand there and act as if Hitsugaya's words were completely normal? The young taichou found himself wondering as he unclenched his hands and kept still. Hitsugaya's breathing began to even out as they glared at one another, waiting for the other one to begin speaking. They had to be the most stubborn people in the world. Ichigo waiting for Hitsugaya to say more. Hitsugaya waiting for Ichigo to react to what he had just said. It was finally Ichigo that gave in and said the very words Hitsugaya had expected. 

"They didn't die because of you. This is a war, Toushirou." Ichigo explained hesitantly. "People are gonna end up dying."

If there was one thing Hitsugaya felt like doing right at that moment, it was to laugh. To laugh a mocking laugh right in Ichigo's face. Well that had been the most obvious statement of the year. But he didn't laugh. Instead, Hitsugaya inhaled once more to calm his nerves. There would be no reason to loose his temper again. He'd just end up regretting it later on anyway. "You don't understand, Kurosaki." A sharp, piercing glance went Ichigo's way before he turned around. "I might as well have killed them." He muttered. "It would have been a better death." Before Ichigo could interrupt with another one of his faulty 'feel better' sentences or questions Hitsugaya had Hyourinmaru on his back and the ripped captain's haori slung over his shoulder. Confused, Ichigo scrambled towards Hitsugaya.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ichigo scowled. He pretended he hadn't heard those words that Hitsugaya had just muttered. He couldn't get any meaning out of them and Ichigo did not want to misjudge the small taichou by guessing. The child prodigy was a pain in the ass sometimes. It wouldn't kill him to be a bit more predictable. But there was something else about him as well that drew Ichigo towards the boy and made him want to get closer, to get to know him better. "Look, if you really don't want to tell me, then I'll forget about it." Ichigo lifted his left palm in the air and his right hand was placed over his heart. "I swear." But that didn't mean Ichigo didn't want to know. In fact, he was dying to know.

Hitsugaya paused and looked over his shoulder and up to Ichigo's solemn face, and then to his hands. What kind of ridiculous gesture was that? But it strangely worked and Hitsugaya merely nodded in agreement. But he was still wary of Ichigo. The human was becoming quite bothersome with all his questions.

"We should get going." Murmured a distant looking Hitsugaya. They had wasted plenty of time out in the open. Thank goodness for the Clearing. Other wise Ichigo's freely leaking reiatsu would have attracted much attention. Hitsugaya made sure to avert his gaze from Ichigo, not sure on how he would handle it if Ichigo's prying eyes were on him again. Without waiting for the substitute shinigami's consent Hitsugaya began walking forward. If his memory was correct then Seireitei's makeshift base wouldn't be far and near the eastern side of the large building that was home to the arrancar.

"Wait!" There was a shuffling of feet from behind Hitsugaya, along with a grunt, which he guessed was Ichigo sheathing and placing his zanpakutou on his back. And then the orange haired boy caught up, matching Hitsugaya's steps and stealing a few glances hesitantly towards the shorter boy every now and then.

Hitsugaya decided to ignore those worried looks and kept his eyes fixed forward. Another conversation could end up provoking another argument. And Hitsugaya was getting tired of their constant squabbles. Ichigo seemed to sense this as well, since he kept his mouth shut. To stop himself from becoming bored Ichigo let his mind to wander and drift. He hadn't seen his friends since the very start of the war. Wait, scratch that. He had been in contact with Renji for a bit until they had gotten separated in the midst of the fight. And then Ichigo had ended up injured and alone since he had chased after a fleeing arrancar.

While Ichigo thought his private thoughts, Hitsugaya did the same. But instead of worrying about his comrades his mind went back to the ambush. As much as he hated thinking about it the scenes kept replaying in his head. He could remember everything clearly, from start to finish.

* * *

The Clearing had been a mass retreat. The arrancar had pulled back and were returning to the gigantic building known as Las Noches. The shinigami had thought of this as a victory and many had cheered. But a few held doubts and wondered why the enemy had suddenly retreated. After all, the Gotei 13 had lost a great deal of their shinigami and many more were wounded. The arrancar could have easily won the first battle. Hitsugaya was one of the few that thought the enemy had more tricks up their sleeves. And that was why he had willingly volunteered to be in charge of the search-and-rescue group. The group wasn't large, but it was enough. There were members of the 4th squad, for medical purposes; members of 11th squad, in case they ended up running into retreating enemies; a handful of Hitsugaya's own 10th squad, wanting to be there for their taichou; and various other shinigami who decided they were fit enough for the job. 

It had started out smoothly in the beginning. The 11th squad members were too busy gloating, drunk with happiness at their easy victory, to think about bothering the 4th squad members. And the 4th squad members, glad to be free from their usual harassment, began to openly chat with the rest of the elated shinigami. Some of them were even trying to coax Hitsugaya into loosening up and enjoying their moment of glory. But the ever suspicious taichou was too busy scanning the horizon or checking for enemy reiatsu. And he had been right to be cautious.

The group was suddenly halted by a lift of Hitsugaya's hand. Something about the air was wrong. It had grown… heavier. Everyone grew quiet, straining their ears and eyes to see what had made their commander stiffen. "What're we standing around for?" An 11th squad member questioned, shifting his eyes from side to side. There was no sound, no unfamiliar reiatsu, and nothing in sight.

"Draw your zanpakutous." Hitsugaya ordered. His narrowed eyes were fixed on the far away hills of sand. His hand came up to the hilt of his own weapon and he unsheathed Hyourinmaru. The shinigami did the same as they glanced at their comrades, wondering what was going on.

And then, on the edges of the white sand dunes came the faint outlines of the oncoming enemy. Many of them. Hitsugaya shifted his gaze and swept his eyes over the faces of the shinigami he was leading. Some look terrified, others looked determined, and a few of them looked confused. They were outnumbered. "But… but this isn't supposed to happen!" A shinigami cried out, her eyes wide with fright. "Th-The Clearing! They all retreated!" Hitsugaya's thoughts exactly. But this wasn't the time to go back and discuss it. There was a gasp from the shinigami in the back of the group and Hitsugaya saw what they saw. More arrancar had appeared over the sand dunes directly behind Hitsugaya's group. Frightened eyes turned to their commander and Hitsugaya's grip on Hyourinmaru tightened. "We'll have to fight this one out." His voice was clear and supportive, though inside, he could easily guess the outcome of their nearing battle.

At once the arrancar were upon them. The shinigami were scattered around, trying their best to defend themselves. The 11th squad members did much of the heavy damaging towards the enemy, but they were reckless as well and many of them were the first to go. Hitsugaya fought ruthlessly and without mercy, cutting his opponents down one by one. But every time he slashed one away another one would appear. His enemy's blood was smeared all over himself and he would wipe at his eyes many times with his sleeve to remove the blood that managed to get on his face. No deep injuries were inflicted on him and there were only a couple of minor cuts.

"Souten ni zase, Hyourinmaru!" He released his shikai and from his zanpakutou a thrashing dragon made of water appeared, its jaws snapping wildly at the arrancar surrounding it and freezing the ground and anything else it touched. But it cost a great deal of reiatsu, more than usual, since Hueco Mundo was a dry desert that lacked water. The ice that had quickly formed began melting away just as quickly. But intent on succeeding Hitsugaya sent the dragon again and again towards the enemy, each slash becoming more violent when he would spot a limp shinigami on the blood covered sand. He had led his subordinates into a hopeless battle. But now the odds seemed to be changing. The arrancar, who had been on the offensive, now switched and became defensive, until…

"Ikorose, Shinsou."

That voice, that command, and that reiatsu. Hitsugaya whirled around, his eyes wide as he saw the figure who had released his own shikai and the fast approaching zanpakutou that was heading right towards his head. There was a flash of movement as the young taichou used shunpo to dodge the surprise attack, but just nearly. The bleeding cut on his cheek was the proof. His feet had barely even fully touched the ground when Hitsugaya charged at the man who had suddenly appeared.

There was a clash of zanpakutou and sparks flew from the impact as the two steel blades met. Enraged eyes looked directly into hidden ones. "Ichimaru." Hitsugaya hissed, restraining his building fury. A delighted look appeared on the former 3rd squad taichou's face before he forcefully pushed away from Hitsugaya's zanpakutou with his own and landed without a sound a few feet away.

"Juuban tai taichou-san. Long time no see." A pleased smile was ever present and Hitsugaya struggled to control his desire to tear that eerie smile right off that smug face.

Hitsugaya raised Hyourinmaru, not bothering to say anything more to one of Seireitei's greatest traitors. There was a blur for a moment where he had stood just moments before and Hitsugaya reappeared on Ichimaru's left side. He swung down his zanpakutou, but found himself slashing at an empty space as Ichimaru avoided the attack and appeared, once more, a couple of feet away from Hitsugaya. "Ara, ara. Ya don' need ta be so hasty." Ichimaru tilted his head playfully and pointed to something behind Hitsugaya. His smile was widening. "Looks like yer shinigami are all dead now." Hitsugaya's hands tightened on the hilt of his zanpakutou and he refused to look. But his heart sank as he realized he couldn't hear anymore fighting, which could only mean one thing.

As quickly as he could Hitsugaya spun on his heel, Hyourinmaru held up as another sword was brought down upon him. An arrancar had crept up from Hitsugaya's back side, hoping to catch him off guard. A smirk had wormed itself onto the arrancar's face when all of a sudden the newcomer was pushed aside with a harsh kick to his side. Ichimaru Gin stood in his place and he looked purely amused. Surprised by the sudden switches in opponents Hitsugaya took that opportunity to jump back and away. His face was puzzled as to what had just happened. Ichimaru noticed this and smirked, his unseen eyes focusing on the arrancar who now struggled to stand up. "That wasn't very nice o' ya ta jus' jump in like that." He leered, looming over the arrancar threateningly.

"Ichimaru-sama!" An interruption. Ichimaru and Hitsugaya's heads turned to see another two arrancar appear, each one holding onto a shinigami. Hitsugaya inhaled sharply when he realized both were still alive, though wounded, and had the arrancar's weapons held to their throats. "Hitsugaya-taichou…" One of them rasped, his eyes brightening when seeing their commander. The other one's eyes flickered hopefully but he said nothing.

Hitsugaya found himself panicking a bit, his eyes scanned the motionless bodies behind the arrancar who had just come. The rest of the arrancar seemed to be scattering and returning to wherever they had come from. So… the shinigami that the two arrancar held captive were the only survivors? He turned to Ichimaru, his eyes narrowed. "Let them go!" He snapped, his anger getting the best of him.

But Ichimaru had other plans. "How 'bout somethin' else instead?" He motioned for the two arrancar to come closer, which they did, nearly dragging their captives with them. "Ya can kneel on tha ground an' surrender an' they go free. Or… ya don' an' they get killed." Ichimaru shrugged his shoulders. "Yer choice, little taichou-san. I promise ta let 'em go." The traitor's face seemed to brighten at the chance of seeing the proud taichou surrendering.

If Hitsugaya thought he hated Ichimaru Gin before then he didn't know what this new feeling was called. He was absolutely furious. Not only did he experience loosing his entire group because of the arrancar but now he had to choose his fate and the fate of his last two subordinates? "You bastard…" He snarled, his turquoise eyes glinting with a murderous light. But he didn't make a move, fearing for the lives of the two shinigami.

"Hitsugaya-taichou." His attention snapped back to the more talkative shinigami who had said his name. "Please, don't worry about us… you need to get back safely." He murmured. The other shinigami nodded in agreement, his fearful face trying to look more courageous. Hitsugaya, however, had never felt so torn before in his life. What was he supposed to do? But he reminded himself that this was his fault. He should have noticed the enemy earlier and have been able to call a retreat. But because of him it had been too late…

Hitsugaya lowered Hyourinmaru to the ground, his hand still holding onto it and he slowly knelt on one knee. He paused momentarily before letting go of his zanpakutou, pushing it in front of him and moving his hand away from Hyourinmaru. He looked back up to Ichimaru, his teeth gritting at his humiliating position. "Release them."

Ichimaru couldn't have looked happier. He turned to the two arrancar and motioned for them to let the shinigami go. They did, removing their weapons from the captive's throats and pushing them away. Both looked startled and stood there, hesitating, wondering if they could just leave while their commander knelt there. Hitsugaya couldn't bring himself to look at them. "Go." His voice was sharp and demanding. A direct order. They stood there for a moment longer before backing away. "W-We'll get help, Hitsugaya-taichou." A nervous glance was exchanged with each other before they broke out into a run.

"My, my. They seem awfully happy. Yer such a good guy, juuban tai taichou-san." Ichimaru patted one of the arrancar's shoulders to draw his attention. "Why don' ya go over there an' get tha little taichou's zanpakutou, ne?" Ichimaru smiled slyly at the still kneeling Hitsugaya. An order was an order and the timid looking arrancar moved forward to retrieve Hyourinmaru. He extended his arm and was just about to grab the zanpakutou when he paused at the sound of Hitsugaya murmuring something softly. "Wha-?" But the arrancar was cut off when Hitsugaya lifted his hand.

"Binding spell 61: Rikujoukourou." The arrancar gasped when he was suddenly unable to move, light beams appearing from his midsection and holding him in place. Before anything else could be said or done Hitsugaya had grabbed Hyourinmaru and slashed the arrancar, ripping him from his right shoulder to his left hip. A large splatter of blood burst out, followed by a formation of ice on the arrancar's body and Hitsugaya winced as he was, once more, washed in the enemy's blood..

It had all happened so fast but Ichimaru was prepared for such a thing. "Ikorose, Shinsou." Hitsugaya was blinded for a moment from the splash of blood on his face. But he saw the light of the moon reflect against the blade and side stepped quickly to get out of the way.

"It wasn't meant fer ya anyway."

Hitsugaya's eyes followed the blade and his horrified eyes stared. The two shinigami hadn't been able to get very far, nearly to the sand dunes, because of their wounds and now… Ichimaru's blade had pierced right through one of them. "No…" Hitsugaya whispered, feeling his insides crumble. The other shinigami had turned back to his dead companion and Hitsugaya found himself crying out. "Idiot! Keep running!" He heard a soft chuckle come from behind him as Ichimaru swung his already extended blade towards the second shinigami. Hitsugaya heard the cry of pain and a sickening thud as the last shinigami from the group he had been leading fell to the red stained sand and remained there. "… Get up…" Hitsugaya murmured in a hushed voice, his eyes remained, unblinking, at the figure who lay without moving. He knew he couldn't be heard, he was too far away, but he was pleading, _begging_ on the inside that the last shinigami would stand… move… anything!

"I never knew that Hitsugaya Toushirou was such a dirty cheater." Ichimaru's smug voice was suddenly too close. Hitsugaya's already wide eyes slowly turned to the traitor who had appeared right next to him, his face leaning towards Hitsugaya's own. The young taichou stiffened, eyes still locked onto Ichimaru. He didn't know what to do anymore… in fact, he felt despair and lost hope. What was he supposed to do now? He had lost his entire group, how could he face the other taichous and tell them he had gotten their squad members killed off?

"Aren't ya gonna do anythin' instead o' jus' standin' there?" Ichimaru asked, and suddenly those slit eyes of his opened slightly, revealing blue-green eyes before they disappeared once more. "What're ya so afraid of, _juuban tai taichou-san_?"

A short cry came from Hitsugaya's mouth as pain shot up and down his right arm. Ichimaru's long fingers had wrapped themselves around Hitsugaya's upper arm, wrenching it in a painful angle in hopes that Hitsugaya would release his zanpakutou.

Hitsugaya's grip had loosened but not enough so that Hyourinmaru would fall to the ground. He reacted quickly, grabbing the hilt of his sword with his left hand instead and jerking out of the painful grasp. He whirled around, swinging his zanpakutou at Ichimaru. Such an action was unexpected and Ichimaru raised his arm to protect himself as he jumped back. But the tip of Hitsugaya's blade slashed Ichimaru's forearm, leaving a trail of biting ice and leaking blood.

They both stood apart from each other, Hitsugaya with his wrenched right arm and Ichimaru with his bleeding left arm. Ichimaru inspected his arm for a moment, uncaring of Hitsugaya's hostile glare. The two arrancar that were left hurried to his side but he waved them away. "I guess we're gonna be able ta finish that fight ya started back at Seireitei." Ichimaru pointed his zanpakutou at Hitsugaya, a grin widening on his face.

Hitsugaya scowled, lifting his own zanpakutou although doubting he would be able to do much. His right arm was aching and he didn't know how long his bankai would last in a place like Hueco Mundo.

There came a shrill shrieking sound and Hitsugaya winced at the sharp noise. But Ichimaru and the arrancar didn't seem bothered by it at all. In fact, they looked as if they were almost listening to it. "That's too bad." Ichimaru commented, sheathing his zanpakutou and glancing at Hitsugaya before turning around. "Yer lucky, little taichou-san." He called out, over his shoulder. "I hope ta see ya again though. We can finish it then, hm?" And just like that Ichimaru vanished, along with the two arrancar. Hitsugaya stood there, dumbfounded. What had just happened? Another Clearing? But the first had been a fake… His mind swam with questions and he looked around himself. Come to think of it, the other arrancar had disappeared as well. It was almost as if they had never been there but... the bodies of shinigami and arrancar proved that wrong.

Hitsugaya sheathed Hyourinmaru quietly, his eyes lowered to the ground. It had been a nightmare and it was going to finish just like that? He made his way into the battle raged field and began to pay his respect to his fallen subordinates. His voice murmuring apologies and thanks. He made sure to visit each and every one of them, ignoring the agony raging inside himself. But as he continued the despair inside became smaller and smaller until he was absolutely numb. Hitsugaya mistook the numbness for a growing acceptance and, without realizing it, pushed his tortured emotions into a far away place... occupied by none other than Hyourinmaru, who was, because of this, also burdened with the devastating knowledge.

* * *

"Hey, Toushirou. I think we should take a little break. We've been walking for a long time now." Ichigo's voice shattered his recollections and Hitsugaya had to take a moment to understand. 

Hitsugaya let out a low breath. "Find a suitable place." He made a bit of an effort to look around, but half of his thoughts were still on the ambush.

"How about over there?" Ichigo pointed to a smooth spot not very far from them. There was no quartz tree or rock but Ichigo didn't think they were necessary anyway. He looked down at Hitsugaya, waiting for his approval. But it didn't matter to the white haired taichou.

"It's decent." Hitsugaya offered, still avoiding Ichigo's eyes.

There was a small huff from above. "Decent? Why can't you say something like 'nice work, Kurosaki! You're not an idiot after all!'" Ichigo said, trying to imitate Hitsugaya's voice but failing miserably. Hitsugaya rolled his eyes at Ichigo's immaturity and the human reacted with a grin. "Come on! I'll race you there, Toushirou!" Ichigo didn't bother waiting for an answer and immediately began to run for it.

"You shouldn't be running, Kurosaki. Your wounds might reopen and I'll have to-" Hitsugaya's warning was cut short when Ichigo tripped and fell on the very shoulder he had injured. Ichigo began to rock back and forth in pain, his hand clutching his shoulder.

"Oww."

Hitsugaya sighed softly, his head lowering and shaking in disapproval. But a small part of him was already warming up to the substitute shinigami. He couldn't help it. Ichigo was… amusing. He made his way over to Ichigo and paused for a second to frown down at the human boy. Then, Hitsugaya continued forward, ignoring Ichigo's muttered curses and stopped when he had reached the place designated by Ichigo. He stood there, arms crossed as he watched Ichigo stand up and shuffle to the spot as well. Hitsugaya had won again. First at their game of tug-o'-war and now with their 'race'.

Ichigo scratched the back of his head and frowned playfully. "Not fair. You cheated." Hitsugaya's eyes widened slightly at the accusation. Ichimaru had called him a cheater as well. But before his mind could slip back into that memory Ichigo reached over to prod Hitsugaya in the forehead. The force of the prod and the surprise of it caused Hitsugaya to take a step back.

He blinked twice before glaring at Ichigo. "What was that for?" He growled, rubbing his forehead with one hand.

Ichigo smiled and shrugged. "You looked like you went somewhere else." He responded. "So I brought you back." Ichigo's rather simple explanation and sincere smile floored Hitsugaya. For a moment he was speechless until he managed to find his voice again.

"… Thank you." Hitsugaya muttered as he put down his captain's haori and zanpakutou so he could sit.

"Eh? For what?" Ichigo asked, following Hitsugaya's example.

"For bringing me back."

A triumphant grin appeared on Ichigo's face. But before Ichigo could begin talking again in his obnoxious way Hitsugaya balled up and threw the ruined captain's haori at Ichigo's head. It was a perfect aim and it hit him directly in the face. "Now shut up and rest, Kurosaki."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, the IchiHitsu should start becoming more obvious in the next update. This chapter was a lot longer than expected. 


	4. Dreams & Surprises

**A/N:** I'm sorry this took so long! I might just stick with updating on weekends. School has been a killer lately. Anyway, thank you all my reviewers! I'm sorry if this chapter isn't all that great. My sickness isn't leaving meee. And just a heads up. The next chapter might be a filler with review response things. I'm going to need a lot of time to write the chapter that's supposed to be after this one. XD

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tite Kubo's Bleach. Gawds, I'm still waiting for my DDR movie guide to come! Then I could totally own that and shove it in people's face. O;

* * *

Hitsugaya had fallen asleep a while ago but Ichigo lay wide awake. He turned one way and then the other, trying to find a comfortable position so he could be able to sleep as well. Unable to do so he sighed loudly as he sat up and then heard, rather than felt, the grumbling in his stomach. Ichigo was hungry, so very ravenously hungry. Had it been a day since he had eaten? Maybe two? It could be three. Damn Hueco Mundo and its inability to produce daylight or proper time! Grumbling he rolled onto his empty stomach but found that to be even more distressing. He tried lying on his side again and, when that didn't help, peeked on over to where Hitsugaya slept. How could that kid sleep so soundly when Ichigo was practically rolling around in discomfort? There had to be some kind of secret.

Ichigo lifted himself up and quietly tiptoed over to Hitsugaya, wanting a little company even if nothing would be said. The child prodigy had insisted they sleep as far away from each other as possible, though Ichigo didn't know why. Did the small taichou honestly think that Ichigo would begin ravishing him while he was sleeping?

Ichigo stopped beside Hitsugaya and silently sat down beside him, slipping in a few glances to that sleeping face. _Oh god. Why am I just staring at him? I must look like a total creep. _If he had been back in the living world and people had seen such a sight then there would be rumors flying around everywhere instantly. Minutes passed and Ichigo managed to stare straight ahead or down at his hands, waiting for sleep to overcome him. But nothing happened and Ichigo decided that maybe lying down would help. And so, he tried again. His eyes watched the empty sky and Ichigo felt the first signs of boredom. He began to restlessly toy with the white sand but stopped when his stomach rumbled again. The sand reminded him of rice.

Turning to lie on his side Ichigo propped his head up with his hand, his elbow supporting both. He blinked and frowned, there was nothing in front of him but even more sand. He tried his left side and, as he did so, remembered his shoulder was injured there as he flinched from the surprise of the pain. But he didn't switch again because up close and when sleeping, Hitsugaya looked totally different.

Those normally scrunched up eyebrows had smoothed out and that seemingly permanent frown had disappeared. Hitsugaya Toushirou really did look like a child. Even more so without his captain's haori. The demanding presence was no longer there and Ichigo suddenly felt very… protective. Here was Hitsugaya in this vulnerable state, looking like a regular shinigami, not a fierce taichou of the Gotei 13, and… a boy who looked no older than his two sisters. Maybe it was just his brotherly nature but there was a strong fondness that overwhelmed him at that moment. Ichigo chuckled, wondering what in the world he was thinking. This was Hitsugaya Toushirou. He knew how to take care of himself.

Ichigo stopped thinking about the boy right there. To take his mind off the thoughts he began to entertain himself by doodling little shapes into the sand, knowing he would grow tired of it soon. And that was when his hand accidentally brushed against the stray bang that belonged to Hitsugaya. Ichigo halted in his actions, wondering if such a small thing could end up waking the kid. But Hitsugaya continued dozing and Ichigo grew curious. When Ichigo's hand had brushed against Hitsugaya's hair it had felt… awfully soft. He was tempted to feel it again, if only for a moment, but Ichigo restrained himself. To avoid himself from doing anything further Ichigo dropped his head back down and rested it on to the crook of his elbow. His eyes softened at the sight of Hitsugaya's peaceful face and soon the even breathing that came from the young taichou began to make Ichigo drowsy. A small smile slipped onto the human's face as he took one last look at Hitsugaya before surrendering himself to a much needed sleep and forgetting that he wasn't allowed to be anywhere near the taichou while they slept.

* * *

"Hyourinmaru!" Hitsugaya's voice rang out and echoed over the plain of ice that was his inner world. His inner world… that was currently dripping water. Trying desperately to keep calm Hitsugaya called out once more. "Hyourinmaru!" Again there was no answer. He didn't know why he had been summoned into the world but he did know something was terribly wrong. His inner world, his plain of ice, the home to Hyourinmaru, was melting.

He had been called there before, the night that his reiatsu had leaked and Ichigo had woken him up. But that dream had been too faint and Hitsugaya was unable to remember what had gone on in that dream. Or if anything had happened at all.

The ice hadn't completely turned into water just yet and the air was still cool. But there were the sounds of crumbling ice and the sloshing of soft snow. And Hyourinmaru, who was supposed to be ever present, was no where to be seen. Hitsugaya's breath was coming out shakily and he felt light-headed. Nothing was making sense and where was Hyourinmaru? A cold blast of wind nearly toppled Hitsugaya over and he fought to keep his balance on the now wet and slippery ice.

"Boy…!" A distant rasping sound and a chilling voice that echoed through out the icy plain. Hitsugaya's eyes widened and he whipped around, frantically searching for the dragon.

"Where are you, Hyourinmaru?!" Hitsugaya called out. Another blast of strong wind, this time Hitsugaya raised an arm to protect his face from the small particles of ice that came along with it. His eyes shut for a fleeting moment as he waited for the wind to pass. When it did he reopened his eyes and lowered his arm, gaping at the scene in front of him. Hyourinmaru's long body was coiled up like a snake, and his long neck arched downwards to get a better view of his wielder.

Hyourinmaru breathed a deep ragged breath and it was then that Hitsugaya noticed the dragon's drooping wings and the dim light that shone from Hyourinmaru's eyes. "You're… ill?" Hitsugaya asked. He had never seen the spirit of his zanpakutou look so awful.

A low growl came from Hyourinmaru and he snorted, causing a puff of cold steam to appear and disappear. "Whose fault is that, boy?" The dragon voice had an edge of disgust latching onto it. Hyourinmaru drew his head back and glared down at the small taichou. "Never mind me. Why have you come here?" Hyourinmaru demanded, an impatient growl was heard this time and Hitsugaya stared back at the dragon, his confusion obvious.

"What do you mean? Didn't you bring me here?" Hitsugaya looked around, his eyes shifting hesitantly. "What's happening? Why is the ice melting?" He couldn't stop the panic from rising in his voice. If a shinigami's inner world was slowly being destroyed didn't it mean that the shinigami's life was coming to an end? Or something else drastic and life altering was about to happen?

Hyourinmaru raised his wings threateningly and snarled. "Don't play stupid, boy." His voice was just like thunder, shaking the ground underneath Hitsugaya's feet. Clearly hearing Hitsugaya's thoughts the great dragon uncoiled his body and with one powerful beat of his wings that sent the wind after Hitsugaya again, was airborne. "This world is not dying. But it will be damaged." Hyourinmaru eyes dismissively glanced back at the white haired taichou before he began to soar away. "Your troubles are the cause of the ice melting, boy. Return when you aren't blaming everything on yourself."

"Wait! Hyourinmaru, I don't understand! I'm not blaming myself!" Even as he said those words Hitsugaya knew they were not the truth. He called out once more but it was no use. The dragon had slipped out of sight. There was a sudden roar from beneath him. His head shot down and stared in disbelief as the ice cracked away from under his feet and he was plunged into a never ending sea of white.

For some reason the water was not cold, even though it had been frozen. Instead it was almost comforting and caressing. Hitsugaya closed his eyes and basked in the calm atmosphere. But the moment was ripped from him, leaving a sputtering and wet Hitsugaya lying on what felt like… a building? He lifted himself up and stood there, his wet shihakushou creating a puddle on the ground and his hair no longer seemed to defy gravity as the water caused it to droop down. Hitsugaya coughed and grabbed at his aching head. Where was he now?

"Oi, what the hell is a little kid like yerself doin' here?"

Hitsugaya's head snapped up and to the side. And then his eyes went wide. "Kurosaki…?" But no, it wasn't him. The man looked like Ichigo but… his hair was white, along with his shihakushou, and those eyes… yellow, and what was supposed to be the whites of his eyes were black instead.

The stranger tilted his head to the side, his strange eyes reflecting boredom and no interest. "Get outta here, brat." And with a wave of his hand Hitsugaya plummeted into an empty darkness before he could say anymore.

"Geez, King." A pale, ghostly white hand rubbed the back of the hollow's neck. "Who do ya think ya are? Lettin' strays wander all over tha damn place…"

* * *

Hitsugaya slowly opened his eyes, waking up from his slumber and away from his perplexing dreams. But something was wrong, why was he still seeing black? In fact, his forehead was pressed against something warm and… was that the sound of a heart beating? Now that his senses had come back he also realized that he could barely move and, oh god was that Ichigo's _chest_ he was pressed against? Hitsugaya stiffened and craned his neck to see what was holding him in place. But as he moved his head something stopped him from going any further. He reached out, tentatively, and felt a hand, Ichigo's hand, tangled in his hair. So that was it. And that just about did it. "Kurosaki!" Hitsugaya snapped, his turquoise eyes blazing. His hands pushed Ichigo away and he frantically tried to disentangle that blasted hand from his hair, while his face burned a deep red.

"Huh?" Ichigo yawned and lazily blinked his eyes. He had woken up to the sound of his name and something hitting him. "Toushirou?" He blinked again in confusion. Why was the little taichou's face red? And why was he grabbing at his own hair? After a closer inspection Ichigo froze, his face becoming rigid as he saw that it was his hand causing the problem.

Ichigo snatched his hand back and scrambled into a sitting position. His eyes wildly shifted from side to side, as if waiting for an attack to come from the pissed off Hitsugaya. Man, did he look furious. And before Ichigo knew it he was babbling an excuse. "I-I didn't do it on purpose! Sometimes when I sleep I tend to move around a lot and roll from one place to the other and I can't really do anything about it since I'm sleeping so this was an accident and your hair happens to be really soft so maybe while I was sleeping I kind of…" Ichigo had to stop there to take a breath and refresh his mind for the next line. But he blanked out and if Ichigo could pick the time and place to die it would be right then. He was freaking embarrassed.

He heard Hitsugaya breathe in sharply and Ichigo prayed to gods, whoever they may be, that he be spared the taichou's wrath. "… It's fine." Had he heard Hitsugaya clearly? Did the icy boy just simply dismiss what had happened? Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed his shoulders that had, earlier, shot up to his ears. "Just don't do it again." Hitsugaya muttered. Ichigo grinned, thanking his good fortune.

"I'll try not to." Ichigo planned to stop talking there but his mouth just kept moving and the words came out unconsciously. "But, you know, your hair really is soft."

Hitsugaya's eyes turned glassy and his face flushed once more. "You're pushing your luck, Kurosaki." His tone was an obvious warning. But was it just Ichigo's imagination or did the white haired boy look a bit hesitant and unsure of himself? But keeping Hitsugaya's words in mind he kept his mouth shut and quickly flashed the boy a smile. Hitsugaya avoided this by turning his head and folding his arms over his chest with a huff.

The only reason he was trying to be a bit more reasonable and not bash Ichigo's skull in was because of the dream he had. It was clear that Ichigo had helped him in some way while Hitsugaya had been sleeping. After all, when he had been falling from his inner world he did not feel the biting cold from the water, but of comfort that replaced it. And then he had ended up in a completely different area where a man who resembled Ichigo had spoken to him and then caused him to awaken back in Hueco Mundo. Actually, Hitsugaya wasn't sure if that was help he had been given… but it had calmed him down from his unclear encounter with Hyourinmaru.

Thinking about Hyourinmaru made Hitsugaya want to scream out in frustration. The short-tempered and grumpy dragon was just like him, he would admit it. But sometimes Hyourinmaru was just never too clear on things. So what if Hitsugaya was still suffering after the effects of the ambush? He had the damn right to be! Did that mean Hyourinmaru was able to feel it as well? His fists clenched and he desperately wanted to punch something.

"Uh, Toushirou? You okay?" Ichigo had noticed the silence and wasn't sure if it was his fault or not.

Hitsugaya sighed softly and shook his head. Deciding now would be a great time to change the subject. "I have a question for you, Kurosaki."

"Oh yeah? Ask me." Ichigo's curiosity was at its peak.

"Why do you call me by my first name?" It was a rather blunt and odd question. Ichigo didn't know how to answer right away and he thought for a few seconds. Hitsugaya waited and mistook the silence for an unknown answer. "I've heard you address Kuchiki and Zaraki by their first names as well." A brief pause. "But I always figured it was because you fought them while trying to save Kuchiki Rukia." Hitsugaya's eyes stared off into the distance. "But we never even met during your invasion."

"That's true. I did fight them and we didn't really know each other at the time." Ichigo smiled down at the taichou, his eyes sincere. "But I consider them my friends. And I happen to call my friends by their first name." Ichigo stretched, lifting his arms above his head and heard the crack of stiff bones. "I call you Toushirou 'cause you're my friend." He shrugged his shoulders. "Right?"

Hitsugaya wasn't expecting the answer Ichigo had given him. In fact, he didn't know what he had been expecting. Maybe something not as… simple. But the answer made perfect sense and it was good enough. Kurosaki Ichigo sure did think easily. "Yeah. You're right." He murmured quietly and allowed a small, rare smile to appear. Another friend to add to his small list of friends. Such a thing would make anyone happy. But that didn't mean Hitsugaya would stop trying to get Ichigo to address him properly.

Ichigo stared at that smile. It wasn't often when the taichou smiled and he felt elated that he had caused it. Plus, the icy boy looked better with that smile on his face. "Now that we're wide awake let's-" Ichigo stopped and looked around. Something wasn't right. As he glanced at Hitsugaya he noticed that the taichou had sensed it as well. He was momentarily distracted by his complaining stomach and he pressed his hand there, waiting for the hunger to subside.

"Kurosaki!"

Hitsugaya's warning proved to be a life saver as Ichigo dodged a sudden attack that he had not seen coming. And as he moved away he was aware of the strange thing that withdrew into the dark of the night. Kicking off from the sand he grabbed his zanpakutou and lifted it from the ground, turning around to look for his opponent. Hitsugaya appeared beside him, his eyes narrowed. "It's an espada."

Ichigo shifted his glance down to the taichou before searching again. The enemy wouldn't have just run after one strike that had missed. "How do you know?"

Hitsugaya unsheathed his own zanpakutou and joined in on the search. "I've fought him before." His actions were careful and ever alert, ready for the slightest of movements. "I didn't hear his name at the time but in his released form…" Hitsugaya's voice trailed off as he spotted a quick blur from the corner of his eye. Hyourinmaru moved forward to block the attack since dodging would be futile. Hitsugaya braced himself and felt the attack come in contact with his zanpakutou. The white haired taichou held on tightly to his weapon as his feet went sliding against the sand and he was pushed back from the force of the impact. The white tentacle he had blocked slipped away once more and both Hitsugaya and Ichigo spotted the figure that was owner to the tentacle and its seven others. "… You can see for yourself." Hitsugaya murmured dryly as he finished his previous sentence.

The feminine man grinned widely, his face jubilant. "Still good at blocking my attacks, eh, taichou-san?" A small pout replaced his grin. "But you got one thing wrong. I'm not an espada anymore." He shook his head in mock sadness.

The former espada began to walk forward and stopped when he was a bit closer. He stuck his hip out slightly to one side and placed a hand there, a wicked smile spreading on his face. "But that doesn't mean I still can't tear you apart for what you did to me last time, you little brat." Another tentacle was shot forward to where both Ichigo and Hitsugaya stood. They each scattered off into different directions, the attack merely sending clouds of sand into the air. "Oh, right. By the way, I'm Luppi. And this…" Luppi turned to one side to allow another figure to be seen from behind him. Ichigo gritted his teeth as he remembered the man and Hitsugaya took a step back when he spotted that fox-like face. "… Is Ichimaru-sama."

"Took a while ta find ya, little taichou-san." Ichimaru's voice was carefree and cheerful as always.

"You!" Ichigo hissed, racing forward and swinging his zanpakutou at that smug face. This was the man that had stopped them from entering Seireitei in the beginning, the man who had sliced off Jidanbou's arm, the man who had plotted with Aizen, and the man who had nearly killed Rukia but stabbed Byakuya instead. Ichigo's zanpakutou was stopped as Ichimaru raised his own in defense.

"Hello, Kurosaki Ichigo." Ichimaru replied cheekily, remembering the substitute shinigami's name. "Get outta tha way, ne? We're jus' here fer tha taichou brat."

Ichigo growled, hating the way the traitor said his name so confidently. He jumped back to Hitsugaya's side and scowled. "What do you want Toushirou for?" He snapped, his brown eyes dangerously flashing.

Hitsugaya fought to control his breathing speed. The sight of Ichimaru had caused him to feel dizzy as he recalled the fight they had and all that had happened on that day. But he was not going to let such a thing happen again. "Kurosaki, let me handle Ichimaru." Hitsugaya whispered softly so that the former espada and former taichou would not be able to hear.

Ichigo's eyes briefly flickered to Hitsugaya as he shook his head. "Hell no. I want to kick his ass." He whispered back. An annoyed look was sent to his direction and Ichigo responded with his own stubborn one. They glared at each other for a second before Hitsugaya looked away sharply. "Fine." At least, the taichou thought, he wouldn't have to face Ichimaru again and be reminded of those deaths Hitsugaya might as well have caused.

"Don' know what ya two are whisperin' 'bout but I'm sure tha taichou will answer yer question." Ichimaru grinned at Hitsugaya and received a scowl back.

Hitsugaya's eyes remained fixed on Ichimaru and Luppi, though he spoke directly to Ichigo. "A lone taichou is valuable during war time. They can be used for negotiations or exchanges. Understand?"

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah. But don't forget. You're not alone anymore." He raised Zangetsu to point it at Ichimaru and smiled when he saw Hitsugaya do the same with Hyourinmaru, pointing it at the arrancar called Luppi. "Let's go."

Both Ichigo and Hitsugaya spoke the next word at the same time. They would fight this battle even though they were slightly wounded. And they would do their best to come out victorious in the end.

"Bankai!"

* * *

**A/N: **That's not a cliffhanger is it? If it is, I'll kill myself. So I've decided to add my favorite Bleach characters into this story, giving some of them minor parts while others get bigger ones. And to do that I had to revive Luppi and throw in Hichigo. But don't worry! Both play an important part. Yeahhh, next chapter has a 87 percent chance of being a filler.

Here you go, Gina. You wanted another action scene and this is a little preview of the whole thing. Please stop throwing raw fish at me during lunch time now. D;


	5. Quick Ends

**A/N: **WAIT. BEFORE YOU YELL AT ME. I'm sorry this took so long! Really I am. It was bothering me too! But I managed to get this chapter over with since I've finished all my major tests. I passed some and I failed some. It all evened out in the end. XD I'm sorry if this chapter is awkward. I'm trying to work with fighting scenes more... though I was hoping I'd have a little more time to develop. Thanks for rushing me, Gina. Anyway, thanks for being patient with me! Once again I'm really, really sorry. Miyan, miyan. BUT HEY! It's not a filler chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tite Kubo's Bleach. But I finally do own the DDR movie guide! Hah! Makes me want to write KusaHitsu... but no! I must restrain myself since I swore I wouldn't until I watched the second movie. Dx

* * *

**As said, here are the late reviewer responses! (responding to chapter 4 reviews)**

_Tsuki-no-Kurokage_: Thankyouthankyouthankyou! It meant so much to me that you like my story since I love all yours! I'm sorry this update was so slow. Dx  
_hyourin.tenshi_: Yees. Luppi makes me smile with his girly ways. hehe. I'm glad you love it!  
_Nire Sanam_: Thank you for all your reviews! Here's a non-filler chapter for youuu. x3  
_Afrieal_: Ichigo's so bold in his sleep, aha! Thank you for your review and your advice. I didn't have any tea with me (my mother drinks it all) so I drank hot water instead!  
_lysori_: I guess so, huh? It's just I've never been fond of cliffhangers myself. XD You make me feel betterrr. Thanks!  
_Gina_: GTFO. ilu.  
_animelover143_: Slow update, and I'm sorry for the cliffhanger! Thanks for the review!  
_Anonymous_: D'awwh. You're too sweet. Dx Thank you for all your reviews! They make me smiiile.  
_Heuk Ya_: Ahhh. Thanks for the review! There was supposed to be something wrong with Hitsugaya's bankai at first but I realized I had a major plot hole if he did. So I had to cut that out. But wow, you scared me when I read that review. I was like, she knows!! Ahaha. Thanks so much! I love your work to death!  
_sapphirephoenix97_: Here's an update! Sorry it took so long. Thanks for your review!  
_Kin Inu_: Thank you for all the reviews you give me! Aww, I love Ichimaru though. x3 -pets his eyes-  
_Aeriel Cross_: I tried to edit it (along with my other chapters) but for some reason it doesn't let me. Dx I'll try again though, but thank you for everything! You're very helpful!  
_QueenNarca_: Isn't it just? Thank you for the review!  
_FuriousDeragonmaji_: Why, yes. Yes it has. x3 Haha, it's going to be very slooow. I think.  
_HauntedPast_: Thanks so much! You made me blush and grin like crazy! Hitsugaya as the target always makes me happy for some twisted reason. XD

DONE! Everyone... you're all so damn awesome.

* * *

"Tensa Zangetsu!" A black cloud of reiatsu engulfed Ichigo and temporarily hid the substitute shinigami from view. A powerful wave of his spiritual energy was sent out as well before the cloud cleared away and Ichigo appeared in all his bankai pride. His pure black blade gleamed as he brandished it in preparation for his attack. The orange haired boy shifted his grip on his zanpakutou and readied himself to charge at the fox-faced man.

"Daiguren Hyourinmaru!" The temperature became noticeably cooler and the winds chillier. Great icy wings unfolded from Hitsugaya's shoulders, twelve icy flower petals bloomed, and ice crackled to create the head of a dragon on the young taichou's right arm. For a split second he was blinded by a white light and could feel pain shooting through his entire arm. Ah, right. That had been the same arm Ichimaru had so kindly damaged. But as he was blinded for that second he could hear the crying out of Hyourinmaru and the sound of thunder crashing. Hitsugaya blinked his eyes to bring them back into focus. If he had heard correctly, and he wished he hadn't, his zanpakutou almost sounded as if he were in pain. "Stay strong, Hyourinmaru." Hitsugaya whispered under his breath. He stole a quick glance at Ichigo and breathed in slowly. Ichigo would have to be strong as well.

Ichimaru smiled his consistent smile and pointed his zanpakutou in another direction. "Yer really not tha guy I want ta be fightin', Kurosaki Ichigo." The silver haired man looked over longingly to where Hitsugaya and Luppi stood before shrugging his shoulders. "But I guess it jus' can't be helped." Ichimaru tilted his head playfully and smirked. "Attack me."

Ichigo gritted his teeth and glared angrily at his opponent. Like hell if he cared who the bastard wanted to fight as long as Ichigo got to kick some traitor ass. But Ichimaru's last line startled the human and he frowned in confusion. "What? Aren't you going to use bankai?" He had expected the former taichou to call out his own bankai but… this seemed entirely unfair. Then again, maybe Ichimaru was just being cocky. Ichigo couldn't figure it out.

"Don' need it." The man replied with a shake of his head. "Not gonna make tha first move? 'Coz I will." And with that he pointed his zanpakutou swiftly over at Ichigo, his devious smirk growing wider. "Ikorose, Shinsou." The blade quickly extended and moved with a deadly speed towards its target.

Ichigo's eyes narrowed as the tip of the blade grew closer. He had already experienced Ichimaru's shikai and was prepared for the attack. He kicked off from the sand and cursed silently when the enemy's blade turned sharply and began to follow him. But no way was he going to stand there and take the hit. Using his bankai's speed Ichigo dashed towards Ichimaru and darted from one side to the other to avoid the enemy blade that was continually swung his way. There, an opening! "Getsuga tenshou!" Ichigo brought down his zanpakutou in a slash that sent a black, laced with red, blast directed at Ichimaru. The ground seemed to explode as sand flew in all directions from the impact of Ichigo's attack. But as the dust parted there was nothing but a gaping hole where Ichimaru had stood. "Damn it!"

"Not bad." Ichigo spun around at the sound of Ichimaru's voice. The man had sand clinging to his hair and clothes but no wounds were visible. What irked Ichigo further was that the former taichou looked bored. And as for his opponent's zanpakutou, it was coming back at Ichigo. Their blades met as Ichigo blocked the tip with the flat side of his zanpakutou and from there the battle raged on.

* * *

Hitsugaya remembered Luppi's use of his weapons and Luppi remembered to keep his eyes on Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya knew Luppi had eight tentacles and Luppi knew Hitsugaya did not die very easily. No more surprises. But, to the arrancar's disappointment, he was not allowed to kill the young taichou. Wounding was fine. But the boy had to be alive if they were to drag information from him or use him for negotiation purposes. Ah well, as long as the former espada saw the taichou bleed it would be all right.

Being a close combat fighter, Hitsugaya was having a bit of trouble. Luppi could stand in one place and control his tentacles from a distance but the young taichou had to get closer. But Luppi wouldn't let him. Hitsugaya slashed a tentacle aside as it was shot forward and watched in satisfaction as Luppi pulled away to inspect his wounded weapon. His eyes glanced over it for a moment before looking back at Hitsugaya from the corner of his eyes. "Remember when I did this, little taichou?" Seven tentacles surrounded the white haired taichou and Hitsugaya immediately covered himself with his large wings in defense. He wasn't sure if it would hold up against seven tentacles but he didn't have time to escape from the oncoming attack.

Sure enough, the impact was a bit too much and he stared in dismay as cracks formed on his bankai's wings. The pressure then subsided and Hitsugaya wasted no time and hurled himself at his opponent. Time seemed to grow sluggish for him. He could make out every move they made as if their battle was in slow motion. And then…

His blade went straight through Luppi's left shoulder, earning a startled cry from the feminine arrancar, and a spurt of blood appeared when Hitsugaya pulled out his blade as quickly as he could and pushed himself away from the wounded arrancar. Luppi grimaced and held onto his bleeding injury, his eyes sparking with something deadly. "You little bitch!" Luppi snarled from somewhere deep inside himself.

Hitsugaya only glared back, not bothering to speak to an enemy who would soon be dead anyway. The former espada seemed to have sensed the taichou's killing intent and gritted his teeth together. Luppi had trained for days and days to get ready for the moment when he would finally meet the white haired boy again. He had gotten stronger, so much stronger! But it seemed as if the boy still overpowered him. Luppi was enraged at the thought and a maddened grin wormed itself onto his face. "I don't care what they say." Luppi murmured devilishly, his psychotic grin twisting. His eyes took on an excited look and he cackled softly. "I'll kill you, brat. I'll rip out your throat and grind you down!"

All of Luppi's tentacles, even his previously injured one, suddenly produced spikes and the arrancar's reiatsu practically became overwhelming.

The former espada had snapped and Hitsugaya couldn't have approved more. Now Luppi would be reckless and, because of that, attack more and defend less. Just as Hitsugaya had predicted the spiked tentacles began raining down on him but it was easy to dodge. He could almost predict where the blows would land and avoid them while closing the space between himself and Luppi. Whenever a tentacle would land a bit too close for comfort the young taichou would simply lash out with his bankai's tail and freeze the limb to the ground.

Luppi was blinded by his fury and didn't realize that the taichou was coming closer. Not until he felt a breeze of cool air, a sharp pain in his midsection, and the taste of blood in his mouth. He looked down and gaped at the zanpakutou buried into his stomach. "… Damn… it…" The arrancar's body began trembling as ice crackled and formed, freezing him both on the inside and out.

There couldn't have been a quicker end and Hitsugaya slid the blade out of the body. He watched with emotionless eyes as Luppi fell heavily onto the sands of Hueco Mundo, his body partially covered with sold ice, and lay there gasping for breath. The fight was won; Luppi wouldn't live for much longer. His bankai slowly fell apart and Hitsugaya breathed a sigh of relief. It had almost been too easy. None of his bankai's petals had been lost and he was unwounded. Hitsugaya concluded that Luppi had lost some of his touch when being demoted from an espada level. He turned his back on his dying opponent in order to see how Ichigo was doing. But he didn't have the chance.

It felt as if a thousand zanpakutous had been stabbed into his left leg. Hitsugaya brought his hand up to cover his mouth as he gave off a muffled scream of pain. The muscles on his thigh and calf were being torn into shreds and Hitsugaya felt the snap of what he thought was bone breaking.

Luppi had managed to use the last of his ebbing strength in order to stab the young taichou. His aim had been for Hitsugaya's backside but he had lost too much energy and had missed. But at least he had done something. Luppi gave off a weak but proud cackle and twisted his tentacle deeper into the taichou's leg, causing Hitsugaya to wince. Oh, to see that blood run from the enemy that had defeated him twice. Luppi was satisfied. He had left his mark. "You… told me once… taichou-san… about follow… through… hehe…" The arrancar smirked up at the boy as he struggled to raise himself up. "… Where's your… follow through… now?" Luppi panted as he managed to get himself on his knees. A sleeved arm gripped his stomach wound while he ignoring his first shoulder injury.

Hitsugaya was breathing heavily as well and he felt as if his legs would give way any moment. "You forget that..." The young taichou turned as best as he could without moving his trapped leg and pointed his zanpakutou at Luppi's throat, the tip of it just barely grazing the skin. "… I can still kill you."

Luppi hissed in disgust, did the brat want to see him beg for his life? "Then do… it." The arrancar coughed and spat out blood to the side. Luppi wiped the side of his mouth and snickered up at the young taichou. "Kill me you little shit!"

Hitsugaya didn't hesitate for a single second and dealt the final blow. If that was Luppi's final wish then he would have it. His zanpakutou cut right across Luppi's throat, sending a spray of blood up towards the arrancar's face. Then the body fell off to one side and the tentacle that had stabbed Hitsugaya grew limp and fell from his leg. It didn't take long for Luppi to disintegrate and vanish into the night sky.

Now that the tentacle was gone Hitsugaya staggered and fell onto his hands and knees. He couldn't hold himself up with one leg. His wounded limb was bleeding freely and he couldn't see how badly ripped up he was. Moving only brought fresh waves of pain and Hitsugaya didn't exactly have a clear view of the back of his leg. "Damn…" He muttered. He wanted to see how Ichigo was doing but he could only manage to hear the sound of steel clanging in the background before he lowered himself onto the soft sand. Hitsugaya was crippled and unable to walk. He would have to wait and see who would become victorious. The young taichou prayed to the heavens above that Ichigo would succeed and that he wouldn't be taken away by Ichimaru's traitorous hands.

"You better win, Kurosaki…" Hitsugaya whispered softly. He could encourage the substitute shinigami in spirit and mind since his body was in a state of uselessness. The young taichou buried his face in his arms and clutched at the sleeves of his shihakushou. He didn't want this anymore. He didn't want to be there. Didn't want to fight the battles he fought. Didn't want… to be the taichou he was supposed to be.

If only he could let it go just as he had let his captain's haori go.

* * *

Ichigo was having a fairly good time battling with Ichimaru. Though both were lightly wounded they looked as if they were enjoying the fight. That is, until Ichigo saw the figure of Hitsugaya collapse. There was no way in hell Hitsugaya lost. It was not possible.

"Where ya lookin' off ta?" Ichimaru called out, peering over to the distance. When he saw the fallen body Hitsugaya and no sign of Luppi he shrugged nonchalantly. "Looks like tha little taichou won. Knew he would."

Ichigo found truth in the former taichou's words after concentrating and feeling Hitsugaya's reiatsu. It wasn't even that faint. He was relieved. The orange haired human turned his attention back to Ichimaru. "I'm going to have to finish this fast." Ichigo wanted to see the condition the young taichou was in. And that meant winning as soon as possible.

"Oh? Worried 'bout tha little taichou-san? Is he that special ta ya?" Ichimaru's voice was full of mockery and scorn. But that damned smile was still on his face.

Ichigo bristled at the man's tone of voice. "And what if he is?" Without waiting for Ichimaru's response the substitute shinigami placed a hand over his face. It was time for him to go vizard. Ichigo's hand was brought down and in one smooth motion his hollow's mask appeared over his face. His eyes became a golden yellow surrounded with a black sclera. Oh yeah, he would definitely end this quickly.

Ichimaru's reaction wasn't the normal reaction Ichigo was used to. The man did not look surprised, nor did he look frightened. Instead he almost had a look of pity on his face as he tilted his head to one side to study the strange mask. "Interestin'." That was all that was offered as Ichimaru grinned over at him. As infuriating as that was, Ichigo maintained his cool and simply glared back.

Just as he was about to dash in the former taichou sheathed his zanpakutou. Ichigo stopped and stared. "What the hell are you doing?" He growled, his voice muffled by his hollow mask. Did Ichimaru intend on fighting him weaponless now?

But the former taichou had other plans as he turned away from the vizard. "Leavin'." Ichimaru was no idiot. At first, the outcome of the battle between them had been obvious. Ichimaru had the skills, the advantage of his not-yet-released bankai, and his superior ranking. But now he felt the fierce and overpowering reiatsu from the human. He saw the eyes of determination and the will of a lion. Kurosaki Ichigo would win. And Ichimaru would not stick around to lose. He would not get badly wounded or possibly even die just so he could try and capture Hitsugaya. It just wasn't worth it.

At the one word reply Ichigo could feel his curiosity grow. And to that one word answer he asked his one word question. "Why?" For all he knew it could be a trap. He was still wary and kept his guard up, remembering Hitsugaya's words about keeping alert during the end of their tug-o'-war game. Though Ichimaru sincerely looked as if he was surrendering, Ichigo stayed on his toes.

"Eh? Don' question what I'm doin' an' go look after tha juuban tai taichou." Ichimaru waved his hand dismissively. "Yeh win. Happy, ne?" There was a quick glance from vizard to traitor before Ichimaru promptly began to shunpo off towards Las Noches.

Ichigo stood there, zanpakutou in hand and hollow mask falling away. Had that just really happened? He kept his eyes fixed on the fleeing Ichimaru, making sure he was seriously retreating. Only when the man was lost from sight did Ichigo make a run for Hitsugaya's laying form.

"Toushirou! Are you alright? Oh, damn! Your leg! Toushirou, your leg's a mess!"

An annoyed and withering glare came from the small taichou as he lifted his head from his arms. "Thank you for pointing out the evident, Kurosaki." Though Hitsugaya sounded just like his normal and grouchy self Ichigo could see the relief in his glaring eyes.

"Ah, oh. Here. Let me…" Ichigo remained in his bankai form and slipped his slim zanpakutou into his white obi, careful that nothing would be cut. "I'll carry you on my back." Ichigo offered, making a move towards the injured taichou.

Hitsugaya didn't think he'd met anyone stupider than Ichigo. "Idiot. If you carried me on your back then you might injure me further." He added a small eye roll to show he did not approve. Ichigo's arms would have to support his legs – the thought caused the young taichou to give a small, nervous cough – and Hitsugaya did not want anything touching his wound. The bleeding had slowed down but the pain was still there.

"Uh… how about I carry you in my arms instead?" Ichigo was trying, clearly he was. But he realized that the method was no good as well since he might still accidentally injure the white haired boy even more. The growl that came from Hitsugaya confirmed this. There _was _one other option. And Ichigo knew it wouldn't be accepted. That was why he grabbed the taichou's waist with both hands and slung Hitsugaya over his left shoulder without any warning. At least he was light and weighed little to nothing.

Hitsugaya was not pleased. In fact, he was practically seething. "Put. Me. Down. Right. Now." Each word was hissed through clenched teeth. But when Ichigo bent down to pick up Hyourinmaru and then began to walk Hitsugaya felt a vein throb. So the substitute shinigami was going to ignore him, was he? Hitsugaya did not thrash around in protest. That would be senseless since he might just end up falling down and hitting the ground. Something he did not want since Ichigo was… tall. Hitsugaya grumbled something under his breath before crossing his arms and glaring at nothing. He hated the fact that his rear was facing forward and that his front was looking back. It was all too confusing.

"Kurosaki."

"Mm?"

"How did you defeat Ichimaru?" Hitsugaya's tone was generously curious as he tried to ignore the embarrassing position he was in. But he wanted to know. Ichimaru was not an easy person to fight, he knew that from experience.

"Oh. I, uh, he ran off." For some odd reason Ichigo was unable to admit that he had gone vizard and had somehow scared the fox-faced man away. First of all, he didn't want to tell the taichou about his hollow powers, secondly Ichigo did not want to say he didn't know how he had won. "Some luck, huh?" Ichigo asked, a forced self-proud grin on his face. Hitsugaya wasn't able to see it.

"… I see." The young taichou decided not to question Ichigo any further. There was something amiss about the way Ichigo said it. He couldn't exactly tell what it was. But Hitsugaya wasn't going to pester him for details. He would just have to trust the human.

There was a long stretch of silence and only the sound of their even breathing and Ichigo's footsteps. But it didn't last any longer since Ichigo nearly tripped. "Whoa!" Instinctively he grabbed onto Hitsugaya to steady the taichou and then stopped to catch his breath. "Sorry about that, Toushirou. I guess I wasn't paying attention."

"…"

"Toushirou?"

"Your… hand…" Hitsugaya's voice sounded strained and Ichigo turned his head to look at his hand. There was nothing wrong with it. Besides the fact he was holding Hitsugaya's zanpakutou. And then he focused on his other hand. Oh.

Hastily he let his grip loosen from Hitsugaya's injured thigh and he let out a tiny chuckle. "Did I hurt you?"

Hitsugaya mumbled a quiet 'no' and stared down at the ground. It looked very far away since he was on Ichigo's shoulder. Was that how tall people felt? What Hitsugaya was really trying to do was to forget the fact that Ichigo's hand had grabbed his thigh. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel violated or not. It wasn't like Ichigo had meant it, right? And though his hakama was slightly ripped Hitsugaya's white kosode had kind of been in the way which had stopped Ichigo from touching bare skin.

"Hey, look, Toushirou!" Ichigo's loud voice caused Hitsugaya to flinch. His ear was much closer to the substitute shinigami's mouth and a yelling Ichigo was not what he needed.

"I can't look." Hitsugaya responded flatly, his eyebrow twitching in irritation.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Want me to turn around or…"

"What is it?" Hitsugaya asked, trying to hurry Ichigo along at that point.

"I think I can see the others!"

* * *

**A/N:** Awwh, man. I bring Luppi back to life only to kill him again. I'm so mean! Dx And don't worry. This story is far from over. Next update should be next week if my mother doesn't kill me for failing a few of my tests... xD There was something else I wanted to say here but I forgot... -wanders off- 


	6. Perfect Timing

**A/N: **Well, well, well. This chapter came out sooner than expected. Not much to say except... I like time skipping. Oh, and Matsumoto, yes. My inner fanboy squees with delight whenever she shows up. Dx

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tite Kubo's Bleach. Oh look, Yoruichi just slinked into my backyard again. I swear that cat has too much free time. Her owners should occupy her schedule more.

* * *

OKAY. Mini story time!

_walking around in a korean market._

Me: o hay! Look, Trisha it's the candy aisle! 8D  
Trisha: You are correct.  
Me: Look for peach or strawberry flavored candies! Oh, and those little chocolate filled koalas too!

_searching, searching, searching._

Trisha: ... Ichigo... milk...?  
Me & Her: _perverted laughter right there in the aisle.  
_Me: I should get this.  
Trisha: Because it says Ichigo on the candy package? (she's not a fan of Bleach but she knows a bit.)  
Me: Yes! And the milk part! Milk is white like Hitsugaya's hair. And milk is drunk by people who want to get taller!  
Trisha: I see, I see. So this is just one of your IchiHitsu things isn't it?  
Me: Of course! My life revolves around them!

Needless to say, I took the bag of Ichigo Milk to school and nearly finished it. I shared with my friends of course. And it tastes really good. Now, on to the story!

* * *

He had never felt so much panic building up inside himself and he felt as if he were about to burst. Even as he thrashed and kicked he couldn't get away from the water that completely surrounded him. His hands continually reached out to try and break the surface that seemed all too close to him. Yet every time he struggled to reach it he would realize that it was still further away. He couldn't take it much longer. His lungs screamed at him to breathe and finally, he was unable to hold on. With a gasp he opened his mouth and felt the chilling water enter him. There was no stopping now or else he would drown. His attempts to try and swim became desperate, a pure animalistic instinct that beat at him to survive. He was distantly aware that he was crying out for help. But why was he? No one would be able to hear him under all that water…

"Taichou!" He was suddenly shaken awake and sat up with a small gasp of air. He coughed and sputtered for a moment, as if he really had been drowning and sinking into the depths of an unknown sea. Hitsugaya placed a hand over his forehead and sighed when he noticed how damp his skin was. No doubt he would look pale as well. Damn, even though it had been a week he was still dreaming that dream.

"Taichou? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Matsumoto's eyebrows were creased with concern and Hitsugaya had to look away. Those worried eyes were all too familiar and Hitsugaya could have sworn they had looked brown for a split second.

"Yes. It's… everything's fine." Hitsugaya murmured with a shaky breath before pushing back his chair. So, he had fallen asleep in his office again. That would explain why he felt so stiff and the reason why some of his papers were a bit crumpled. With a quick glance at his fukutaichou he headed for the office door and paused to look over his shoulder. "Matsumoto, handle things while I'm… away." He had to leave, had to breathe fresh air and clear his fogged mind. He had to get away from the duties he was tied down to, and away from the barrage of questions that he knew would come from Matsumoto.

He slid open the door and was conscious of her following footsteps. But they stopped and Hitsugaya could hear her hesitate. "I'll be alright." The young taichou tried to sound as assuring as he could. He walked out of the office and Matsumoto stuck her head out the door to watch him go. If a person were to squint hard enough they would notice the white haired prodigy limping. His leg wound was recovering slowly and the way Hitsugaya walked proved it, but his right arm was good news since it had healed nicely.

Matsumoto frowned slightly as she slid the office door close and rested her back on a wall. She had walked in earlier and had noticed her taichou mumbling something in his sleep and seen the sweat trickle down his pained face. It had scared her and she had quickly woken him up. It wasn't the first time she had encountered such a moment. Her taichou's sleeping pattern had grown uneven and on some days she would walk into a 10th Squad building and hear the young taichou muttering in his dreams. But what surprised her that day was the name she had been able to pick out of his unconscious murmuring. Matsumoto was suspicious. Never before would she have thought of her taichou calling out for Ichigo in his sleep.

Hitsugaya didn't look back as he left. Ever since he had come back from Hueco Mundo, injured and being supported by Kurosaki Ichigo, his fukutaichou had kept close by him. Hitsugaya didn't mind, but it was strange and he knew Matsumoto felt the same way. He wasn't the same anymore.

He'd admit it. When he had come back to Seireitei and released from his stay at the 4th squad building, Hitsugaya had began to neglect some of his duties. Instead of filing paperwork and making preparations for the next battle, he had started to nap more often and lounge about. It wasn't that he was growing lazy or looking for free time. He had grown… unmotivated. Shinigami noticed how the taichou's eyes would linger upon the sky in a restless fashion or how his once sharp commands became wary looks and soft murmurs.

His subordinates would stare at him and whisper among themselves. They told each other that unspeakable things had happened while their taichou had been stranded in Hueco Mundo. And that was the reason why their once active taichou had now become someone far away. Someone who was lost in his own world.

Hitsugaya was not lost. He knew exactly where he stood and how the others saw of him now. But he brushed aside their false rumors and didn't bother announcing that there was nothing wrong. Something was wrong; he had the common sense to know it himself. There were two things that greatly bothered him.

After his separation from the desert sands of Hueco Mundo and the human boy, Ichigo, the young taichou had felt like something was missing. Ichigo had returned to his home in Karakura to recover and Hitsugaya had felt an anxious wanting as he had watched the human leave. Had he spent too much time with the substitute shinigami and grown fond of him? He had hoped that was not the case. But one day he had stood in front of a long mirror and had said the words out loud. Just to prove to himself that he was wrong. "I miss Kurosaki Ichigo." He declared to his reflection. And he found, with great surprise and alarm, that he actually meant the words.

The second reason was simple. Though he wore a brand new captain's haori, unstained by the enemy, Hitsugaya couldn't help but wonder if it would be bathed in blood again. If he didn't have dreams about himself drowning in his own inner world then he would dream nightmares and repeats of that fateful day of the ambush. Every shinigami he would meet Hitsugaya would wonder. _Did you know someone in the last sent search-and-rescue group? Was your friend in that group? Did the two of you know each other well? Do you know I got that person killed?_ His captain's haori was back to being a burden.

The other taichous did not hold him responsible for the mass slaughter. It had been his duty to tell them how their subordinates had died in battle. Hitsugaya told them it was an ambush. Clean and simple. He did not mention Ichimaru Gin or the episode with the last two shinigami. Nor did he mention how weak he was and his crumbling defeat. He didn't think he had to. And even Ichigo had agreed to shut his mouth about their last fight.

But even though the taichous looked at him with forgiveness in their eyes, he also saw their pity and their restrained grudges. Maybe he was just being paranoid, actually, there was a high chance he was, but Hitsugaya couldn't stop. In his mind, everyone blamed him.

He wasn't supposed to be so easily swayed and let the thoughts of the other taichous bother him. But he had been in such a hopeless battle, tricked into thinking the enemy were all gone and then being crushed by them. His strength had failed him along with his wits. And most importantly, there was something wrong with Hyourinmaru. He couldn't admit it to anyone. What would they say? He didn't want to give off the impression that he couldn't even handle his zanpakutou. It would cause him to lose his reputation.

He still held his head high when he was in the presence of others and had an air of authority surround him. However fake it may be.

* * *

"It's rainin' again." An unhappy hollow muttered. He lifted his face upwards to let a few of the raindrops land on him before brushing the water away. Damn, he hated the fricking rain.

A black cloaked figure stood motionlessly beside the white haired hollow. "He misses the boy." He rumbled softly.

"No shit, Zangetsu." The hollow swiped at the rain drops and grumbled when he realized how soaked he was getting. "What I wanna know is why King ain't gettin' off o' his ass an' see 'im."

At this Zangetsu did not reply and kept his eyes fixed forward. The hollow followed his gaze but saw nothing and, for the thousandth time, cursed the being that made the King's zanpakutou so damn boring.

"'ey, Zangetsu. A guy walks inta a bar. What does he say?"

"Hn."

"He says 'ouch.' Get it? Tha guy walks _inta_ a bar?"

"... Hn."

"Go screw yerself." Huffing in annoyance the hollow stalked away, grumbling threats and profanity as he distanced himself from the old man. He swore that when he had the chance he'd spit in Zangetsu's weird hair and claim that it was 'the rain.'

* * *

A taichou's meeting was not the place Hitsugaya wanted to be attending. His eyes stared at the wooden floor as the soutaichou's words droned on and on and on…

"Hitsugaya-taichou! Are you paying attention?"

Startled, the boy genius gave a small jump and flushed red in embarrassment when everyone turned their heads to look at him. Well, excuse him for finding the meeting a complete bore. But he quickly lowered his head in a small bow and regarded the seated elder dutifully. "I'm sorry, soutaichou. What was that?"

A brief glance was exchanged from the soutaichou to Ukitake and Hitsugaya noticed it right away. He openly bristled as they murmured a few words to one another. They were talking about him again as they had been doing whenever Hitsugaya seemed to do something wrong. It was distressing to see them whispering while knowing what they were speaking about in their hushed tones. A few of the other taichous had even begun to shift impatiently and directed their eyes onto the white haired prodigy in annoyance. Damn it all, Hitsugaya wanted to storm out of the meeting hall at that moment or at least say something. But that would only lead to trouble.

The soutaichou cleared his voice loudly, causing everyone to focus back on him and Hitsugaya felt relieved that the moment of distraction had passed. "As I was saying. Squads six through eleven will be sent back to Hueco Mundo for the second battle. You will receive further instructions…"

Hitsugaya suddenly felt dizzy as he tuned out the soutaichou's words. His squad was to go back into Hueco Mundo? He was going to fight again? Sure, they were all fit to fight. But… to go back… it was too soon. His mouth felt dry and as much as he wanted to protest, he couldn't. It would raise suspicions and Hitsugaya had told no one of what really happened out there. Oh gods, to go back into the desert… If his dreams were terrible now he couldn't imagine what the continuous nights there would do to him. His eyes frantically looked around; none of the other taichous seemed bothered. _And why should they?_ Hitsugaya thought bitterly. None of them had gone through the mental torture he had been exposed to.

He struggled to find his voice and come up with a reasonable explanation as to why his squad wouldn't be able to go. Hitsugaya wasn't a coward. He just needed more time. He needed to get stronger. The young taichou still needed to heal the fresh wounds inside of him. His thinking ceased, though, when the large doors of the meeting hall swung open.

"Sorry I'm late! Renji and Ikkaku were telling me this story where a guy forgot to…" Ichigo's voice trailed off when the soutaichou's searing gaze glared at him. Biting his tongue the substitute shinigami jogged forward to stand in the middle of the meeting hall, an apologetic grin on his face. A few of the taichous smiled at him while others glared and some ignored him.

Hitsugaya was one that chose to ignore Ichigo. The soutaichou had begun to speak again and Hitsugaya struggled to pay attention. But it was hard and he stole a quick glance to where Ichigo stood. His arms were crossed and a bored look was on his face. Hitsugaya was aware of his own breathing speed and he looked away. Typical Ichigo. While the rest of the taichous were standing at attention in plain view, the substitute shinigami defied the position and let his lack of enthusiasm show. Why _was_ he there anyway?

His question was answered right away. "As you can see, Kurosaki Ichigo will also be returning to Hueco Mundo to aid the shinigami." The soutaichou politely nodded towards the human and Ichigo responded with a mutter of confirmation.

Hitsugaya's eyes drifted back to the orange haired boy. Ichigo didn't look as if he was disappointed to go back. And then he remembered the human was known to get himself into fights all the time. Clearly another trip to the white desert wouldn't bother him. There was also that promise Ichigo had made with the healing girl, Inoue Orihime. Hitsugaya didn't know the details, but there had been mentions of the human boy promising to avenge her or something along those lines. That could easily be it. Hitsugaya hadn't known Ichigo for long. But he did know that the substitute shinigami was very protective of his friends.

They were friends too weren't they? He and Ichigo. Hitsugaya momentarily forgot he was staring at the orange topped boy. The substitute shinigami looked his way as well and for a moment they just stood there, looking at one another. But a large grin and a 'hey' mouthed by Ichigo quickly caused the child prodigy to look away. What was wrong with him? He was supposed to be focusing on the meeting! Not on some loud-mouthed, somewhat entertaining, ridiculous-acting human!

The meeting lasted for several more minutes and Hitsugaya made it a priority to look at the soutaichou and only the soutaichou. When the taichou's meeting finally broke up Hitsugaya made a hurried dash for the door. He didn't want to stay in that stuffy room for another second. But he was stopped when a hand reached out and grabbed his arm to prevent him from leaving. "Toushirou! Long time no see. What's up?"

Oh, and he had also wanted to leave in order to avoid the substitute shinigami. But Hitsugaya supposed it would be rude to simply brush Ichigo aside, so he turned around to face him. And boy, absence sure made the heart grow fonder. No, why was he thinking that now? To let the awkward thought slide Hitsugaya removed Ichigo's hand and patted at his arm as if the human had left a dust mark there. Ichigo didn't seem to mind and waited patiently for the boy genius to finish up. Hitsugaya sighed quietly and gave in. Ichigo didn't seem like he had to be anywhere anytime soon.

"Only the next battle, Kurosaki." Hitsugaya struggled to keep his voice neutral and hide his true feelings about the battle. "And it's Hitsugaya-taichou." He reminded sharply when he noticed some of the passing taichous looking their way curiously. No doubt the more talkative ones would be spreading the news that Hitsugaya was suddenly becoming 'buddy-buddy' with Kurosaki Ichigo.

"Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter."

Hitsugaya felt his eyebrow twitch in irritation. "It does matter! You can't go around disrespec-" He was interrupted when Ichigo's hand clamped down on his shoulder and, for a split millisecond, he felt his heart stop. The substitute shinigami was looking down at him with a bright grin that seemed a bit too affectionate. And the hand that rested on his shoulder seemed a bit too comfortable.

"I missed you too, Toushirou!" Ichigo announced before letting go of Hitsugaya's shoulder and swiftly walking past the frozen taichou. "I'll be outside if you need me!" With that he exited the 1st squad building.

That seemed to break the spell and Hitsugaya growled in agitation. How dare Ichigo make him feel so… so defenseless! But as the young taichou whirled around to leave as well he halted as he remembered Ichigo's words. Need him? He didn't need him! Not now and not ever. But as Hitsugaya continued walking he felt an unwanted feeling of anxiety and wondered when he would be able to speak to Ichigo again. Hitsugaya tried to convince himself that it was only because he wanted to discuss the next battle.

He concluded he wasn't a very persuasive person.

* * *

**A/N:** Ohohoho. Our Hitsu is falling for Ichigo now. x3 Oh, darn. I've lost track of my plot holes again. I need to look for that list and add about... ten thousand more. xD Bwahuahua, I figured out how many chapters there are going to be. This is a great accomplishment since I was never good with math. Yes, it required math. And not the basic kind either.


	7. Handing Out Reasons

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long! And even more sorries if I wasn't able to reply to your reviews! I'm not allowed to use the internet because of my bad grades. So as I write the next chapters my mother will think they are essays. Ahehe. Oh, and I'm unable to edit my chapters too. Is that just me? It's getting on my nerves.

Something else. I was given my deadline for my doujinshi and, well, first thing that came to my mind when I saw my deadline: 'Ohsnap. Looks like my art's gonna look like rushed pieces of...' Yes. So I won't have time to work on the new chapter for a while. So sorry! On top of that I have my Military Ball coming up and I might go to China during Spring Break. Ugh, I need to brush up on my Chinese. (Such a hard language. English is harder though.) Anyway, it's going to be a slow update and I'm going to apologize beforehand. SORRY!

And thank you to all my readers and reviewers! You guys help out so much when it comes to writing these chapters.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tite Kubo's Bleach. Speaking of Bleach, haven't the recent manga chapters been kick-ass?

* * *

"Ichigo!"

A punch to his face sent the orange haired boy toppling from his seat and on to the 6th squad office's floor. He had offered to help Renji with his work but… distraction. It was every where. Especially with Hitsugaya on his mind. And here he was now, his face getting acquainted with the hard floor. For some strange reason it smelled like mustard.

"What the hell, Renji?!" Ichigo twisted himself around to a sitting position and glared ferociously at the red-haired fukutaichou. With the back of his hand Ichigo wiped at his nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding. Punches to the face usually had that effect.

The equally stubborn fukutaichou leaned forward to shoot a glare that matched Ichigo's own. If twins were acknowledged only by their personalities, then they would be a pair. "Quit daydreaming and start working! If Kuchiki-taichou comes in and sees us slacking off then he'd…" Renji shuddered at the thought and began attacking a blank paper with a brush. He didn't think he'd have to finish the sentence in order for Ichigo to get the idea.

Grumbling softly, Ichigo reseated himself and tried his best to follow along. But calligraphy brushes really weren't his ideal choice of writing material and the kanji characters he was supposed to be printing looked more like deranged stick-figures. It had been a mistake to offer help. Ichigo had to get out of there. "Damn it!" Throwing down his brush he hurriedly bolted for the exit. "Ah, sorry, Renji! I need to use the bathroom!" He was out the door in a flash.

Instantly, the red-haired shinigami was on his feet and shouting after the lazy substitute shinigami. "Do you think I'm stupid, Ichigo?! The bathroom isn't even that way, dumb ass!"

To his surprise Ichigo's face popped back into view. "Hey, Renji. Where do you think Toushirou is right now?"

The 6th squad fukutaichou raised a tattooed eyebrow in response. "Eh? Hitsugaya-taichou? What do you need him for?" How unexpected.

Ichigo huffed and crossed him arms, sending the fukutaichou a look that clearly read that it was none of his business. Renji shrugged; there was nothing he could lose. Wait, yes there was. But Ichigo wasn't much help in the first place. Work would flow faster if the human left.

"… Hitsugaya-taichou should be in his office. But these days you can't really know since he's always—"

"Okay! Gotcha, Renji, thanks! Later!" And with a small wave of good-bye, Ichigo was off once again, leaving a confused fukutaichou blinking and wanting to chase after the orange haired human to ask why he was suddenly looking for the young taichou. But he couldn't. Kuchiki Byakuya was due back any minute now and if he walked into the office to find barely any work done then there would be hell.

* * *

"10th squad, 10th squad, 10th squad…" Ichigo muttered as he jogged through the rows of buildings. He had to be close. A few minutes ago he had passed by 11th squad and pretty much had to sneak his way past. Zaraki Kenpachi still wanted a fight.

"Aha!" He found the building… or to be exact, buildings. Which one was the office? Sure there were labels that marked the area but that meant he had to check every single one of them. He could always try to find Hitsugaya by searching for his reiatsu…

Ichigo concentrated and tried to pinpoint the taichou's location. But it was difficult since he was terrible when it came to the reiatsu things. Not to mention thousands of other shinigami reiatsu made it tough to sort through. But Ichigo continued to try and his effort was rewarded when he narrowed it down to Hitsugaya's reiatsu. So the white haired shinigami was close by. Ichigo wasted no time in tracking him down like a bloodhound.

He came upon a building that was located further away from the rest. There wasn't time to think about that though, as he slid open the door and slipped inside. It was plain and had little furnishing. There was a small writing desk against a wall and futon lay on the tatami flooring. That was strange. It was late in the morning and the futon mat hadn't been put away. Wait a minute. Renji had said that Hitsugaya would be at his office. So where was this?

"His room…?" Ichigo murmured to himself as he looked around. No, it was too plain and Hitsugaya was a taichou. Didn't taichous get luxurious and large rooms or something?

A sudden sound caused Ichigo to whirl around. Observant Ichigo wasn't observant enough. There had been another door that had led to another section of the building. And at the door, standing with a startled look on his face, was the taichou Ichigo had been looking for.

"Kurosaki, this is a surprise." Hitsugaya recovered quickly and regained his composed look once more. He straightened out his captain's haori and took a step forward, sliding the door closed behind him. "What brings you here?"

It was then that Ichigo realized he was trespassing and that he really didn't have a reason for coming at all. He hadn't seen Hitsugaya in… almost two days. So he had wanted to check in on him and make sure everything was okay. News traveled fast and Ichigo had been told of the white haired prodigy's strange behaviors. The substitute shinigami had instantly remembered Hueco Mundo and had decided to confront Hitsugaya about it once more. How he was going to start, he had no idea.

"Well…" Ichigo began, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He needed to come up with something and fast! The little taichou didn't look too happy. Come to think of it, Hitsugaya looked like he was trying to seem pissed. Ichigo didn't really know why, but it was like Hitsugaya was actually glad to see him.

This was perfect. Now he would be able to ask Hitsugaya with no problem!

Or Ichigo could be terribly wrong and find himself frozen to the floor.

"Nice place!" It was a try. "I came to… to check it out and… uh, what do you do here? I mean… there's not much inside so…" So what? Ichigo coughed uneasily. Why was it that he was always blabbering nonsense when it came to the young taichou?

"I come here when I want peace and quiet." Hitsugaya moved towards the exit and slid the door open. "Now if you would please leave, Kurosaki." The white haired boy motioned to the door, excusing the substitute shinigami.

Even though it was clear that Hitsugaya wanted him to leave, Ichigo was a bit surprised when he noticed the hesitance in the young taichou's eyes.

But Ichigo wasn't going to be shaken off that easily. "Toushirou, what's going on?" He blurted and then inwardly flinched when Hitsugaya's icy glare was directed at him.

"What do you mean?" Hitsugaya's voice was surprisingly calm but Ichigo was able to detect the icy chill that lined his words.

Ichigo wasted no time in explaining. He had to get through with it. "Everyone's been telling me that you're not the same anymore! Even I noticed when we met that time at the meeting. And now you're hiding out in some building? Toushirou, this doesn't have anything to do with Hueco Mundo, does it?"

An eerie silence settled itself inside the room and Ichigo suddenly dreaded Hitsugaya's reaction. His next words were barely above a whisper. "You swore you'd forget about it."

Ichigo pushed down his unease and continued to stand tall. "That was before I realized how badly it's been affecting you."

"Get out."

"No."

Hitsugaya's eyes flashed threateningly. But Ichigo wasn't going to back down, not anymore. He was going to find out once and for all what had happened. Even if it meant a couple of bruises or injuries. Thank goodness Hitsugaya didn't have Hyourinmaru strapped on him. Ichigo wasn't sure if he would have been able to confront the taichou then.

"Toushirou, your body might be back in Soul Society, but your mind it's… still in Hueco Mundo. Tell it to come back! Let me know what's bothering you!"

Those turquoise eyes widened in disbelief. "And why should my 'mind' come back from there? We're being sent back anyway!" Hitsugaya's voice practically dripped venom as he bitterly spat out his response. "Kurosaki, doesn't it bother you? We struggled and fought to get out of that damned place and for what? To get our wounds treated and then shoved back in?" The white haired taichou's reiatsu was becoming more and more dangerous by the second.

Ichigo had to take a step back and away from the overpowering flow of reiatsu. So this was what the problem was… no, there was more. He could tell. Hitsugaya wouldn't lose his cool just because he didn't want to go back into battle. Ichigo would have to provoke him. "So you don't want to go back, huh? Just gonna stand around here and be a coward?" Ichigo was aware of the fury that crept into Hitsugaya's features. "Are you so scared that you'd hold back and run away from a fight? I know that's not you!"

"… Shut up." The soft tone Hitsugaya used immediately stopped Ichigo. The prodigy's eyes were focused on the substitute shinigami and at the same time, onto some far away place. For a minute, Ichigo thought the proud taichou was going to break down in tears. But nothing of the sort happened. "You don't know, Kurosaki." Hitsugaya inhaled shakily and quickly looked away.

Ichigo slowly walked forward, cautiously eyeing the young taichou just in case. "Then help me know." He murmured as he stopped a few feet from Hitsugaya. "I can't promise you I'd understand but…" The substitute shinigami self-consciously reached out to gently grasp Histugaya's chin and slowly tilt his head up so that they could be face to face. It was a pretty bold move but Ichigo wanted Hitsugaya to see he meant his words. "… I can listen."

The faintest hint of a blush appeared on Hitsugaya's cheeks as he stared up at Ichigo. The contact was too much and he hastily backed away, freeing himself from Ichigo's hold. His eyes drifted to the floor as Hitsugaya tried to clear his mind and figure out what had just happened.

"… Okay." Hitsugaya breathed in and nodded. "Okay, I'll… tell you." He raised his head to confidently gaze back at Ichigo's face. This was where he would let go.

So he spent the next few minutes explaining the gory details and remembering the merciless ambush. It was a struggle for Hitsugaya to admit to sending his subordinates into a hopeless battle. And then watching as one by one, they all fell onto the bloodstained sand. He described the meeting with Ichimaru Gin perfectly, as if it had happened only a day ago. It was forever embedded into his memories.

Then Hitsugaya recalled his choice, his humiliation, and his mistake. The young prodigy admitted that it was his fault and choked on his words when he told Ichigo about the last two shinigami and their deaths. It was like reliving the moment as Hitsugaya went through what had happened. But he reminded himself that it was time to let go of it all. And that was what he was trying to do.

"… And then I found you, Kurosaki. The rest you already know." Hitsugaya finished and glanced up at the human hesitantly.

Ichigo's eyes were wide with sympathy and the young taichou felt his heart lurch. "Kurosaki, don't tell anyone." Hitsugaya felt uncomfortable as he pleaded with the orange haired boy. But he couldn't let the news leak out. "Promise me that you'll keep it a secret."

The look on Ichigo's face was doubtful as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. But the desperate look on Hitsugaya's face made up Ichigo's mind. "Yeah, I promise. Don't worry about it, Toushirou." He smiled reassuringly and watched as the tense taichou loosened up in relief. At least he had gotten the story out from Hitsugaya. Ichigo hoped that would be good enough to help boost the taichou's spirit a bit.

But the little taichou looked even more dejected than ever and Ichigo wanted so badly to just comfort him. "Hey, Toushirou? Everything gonna be okay, now?"

Hitsugaya glanced out the open door for a moment before shaking his head. "Kurosaki… I never wanted to be… a shinigami."

Ichigo was stunned by the sudden confession. "What are you talking about?" He scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion. Where had this come from?

Dim and saddened eyes turned to the human. Of course he didn't know. "I became a shinigami in order to protect Hinamori and… to make sure I didn't accidentally kill my grandmother. But now…"

Grandmother? Hinamori? It was true. People learned new things every day. Ichigo hadn't known about any grandmother of Hitsugaya's. As for this 'Hinamori' person, he had been told that the two had been childhood friends. "Are you feeling alright?" He was growing concerned about the swift change of subject.

"I don't want to be a shinigami anymore." Hitsugaya stated quietly. "There's no reason for me to stay as one."

Ichigo did a double-take. "What?!" Had he heard correctly? Hitsugaya Toushirou the 10th squad taichou, child prodigy, and boy genius, didn't want to be a shinigami? "You're acting crazy, Toushirou. Of course there's a reason! What about everyone you care about? Rangiku-san…" His voice faltered when he saw the young taichou shake his head.

"All I ever cause Matsumoto is concern, Hinamori is confined in some place so she doesn't loose it at the name of 'Aizen', and Hyourinmaru…" Hitsugaya closed his eyes. "… Hyourinmaru is in some kind of trouble and I don't even know what to do."

Ichigo hated to see Hitsugaya in such a condition. So he resolved to fix it. "You didn't mention me." He murmured and, with a nervous cough, took Hitsugaya's hand in his. The prodigy's eyes shot back open and he stared at their intertwined hands. There was a brief moment of silence.

"Kurosaki, what…?"

Okay, so far so good. Hitsugaya hadn't made an attempt to pull away so that had to be a positive sign. "If you really need a reason to stay a shinigami then…" Ichigo smiled warmly at the smaller boy. "… Your reason can be me. Let's watch each other's backs and, well, I dunno. Look out for one another, I guess." Pathetic attempt, but an attempt nonetheless. "What do you say?"

What was he _supposed_ to say? Ichigo was holding his hand, looking at him, smiling at him, asking him something that Hitsugaya's brain was still slowly processing, and just… he felt overwhelmed. No, why these feelings? Why now? Why Kurosaki Ichigo?

"Y-Yeah." Hitsugaya managed to reply. He couldn't express his current emotions. There were too many ups and downs. But the biggest one nagged at him and gave Hitsugaya the helpless feeling he so detested.

Ichigo was alive. Hitsugaya wasn't.

It was as simple as that, but complicated beyond words.

* * *

**A/N:** ack. This chapter was a little personal. And so I've decided to dedicate it to a certain someone.

_Rest in peace, Matthew.  
If I had been a better 'Ichigo' would you still be around?  
Miss you much, idiot. _


End file.
